Do I Look Like a Daddy to You?
by PsychedelicCowgirl
Summary: Ben Maverick is a gambler, a drifter, and a confirmed bachelor, so when unexpected news threatens to permanently change his life, he's certain no good will come from it. Will a little time and a lot of help from his brother change his view?
1. Unexpected News

**A/N: This is a slightly different Maverick tale as it stars the elder Mavericks in their younger days, and I have to say MaverickLover2 played a big part in getting this idea out of my head and on this site. The title comes from the song Rake and Ramblin' Man by Don Williams. Weekly updates expected.**

"Say something, Ben."

Bentley Maverick stood in front of Abigail Johnson in dumbfounded silence, unable to do anything but stare at her.

He'd been keeping company with Abby for the last four months, ever since he'd come to Hattiesburg. He'd spent more time with her than was normal for him, a week or two was usually his limit, but Abby was different. He wasn't sure why, she wasn't nearly as flashy as the ones that usually caught his eye, but he hadn't been able to shake her, and that wasn't entirely her fault. She'd actually resisted his advances at first. The simple girl had been leery of the gambling man, but his easy smile had won her over in the end. They had started out with dinner one night, and from there things had slowly grown until she had found her way into his bed. That had been a development he'd enjoyed, but he'd always been honest with her, he wasn't the kind to settle down, and eventually it would be time for him to move along. Abby had never protested and she had never asked for anything else.

The last few days he'd started thinking that the time to move along had come. He hadn't yet decided where he'd go or how he'd tell Abby goodbye, but it was time for a clean break. That's what he'd thought anyway until Abby had shown up today with her news. He still wasn't sure he had heard her right. He couldn't have. She hadn't just told him . . . . He shook his head. No, it wasn't possible. It couldn't be. It would ruin everything. His plans, his livelihood; it would ruin his whole life.

"Ben," she cried a note of desperation in her voice.

"What?" he snapped.

"Please say something. Anything." Abigail's voice was trembling now, and her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

Ben snorted a laugh. It was a sharp, harsh sound and made Abby flinch back. "What do you want me to say? You expectin' me to be happy?"

Abby took a step back. She seemed to curl in on herself, her arms going around her middle. "No," she said softly. "I-I . . . I don't expect anything." She stood up straight, her chin lifting. "Excuse me."

As she turned to leave Ben snapped out of the reverie her original pronouncement had put him in. "Abby, wait," he said grabbing her arm. "I'm . . . I'm sorry. I . . . don't go." She gave him a long look before she finally nodded. "Sit down," he said leading her to the settee.

She collapsed more than sat, and immediately dropped her head into her hands. Ben remained standing. "I'm sorry," he said again, guilt beginning to creep in at how he'd snapped at her before. "I wasn't expecting that."

Abby scoffed as she looked up, a spark of anger in her eyes. "You weren't expecting it?"

Ben grimaced before sighing heavily. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." All traces of anger were now gone, and Abby seemed to shrink as she whispered that single word.

Ben also felt himself deflate. It was the answer he'd been expecting, but he'd been hoping by some miracle is wasn't the one he was going to hear.

"What are we gonna do, Ben?" she asked. "What . . . " She bit her lip as it started to tremble, and her arms again wrapped around her middle.

Ben shook his head as he started to pace. What were they going to do? He wasn't sure he was going to do anything. The way he figured it, he had two choices, he could go like he had been planning on doing anyway, or he could stay. Staying would mean the end of everything. His life might as well be over if he did that. It would be the end of everything he knew and loved; everything he craved. It would be the end of his traveling, his poker; the women. Sure he felt a little guilty admitting that last part in light of what Abby had just told him, but it was the truth. He couldn't do it; he couldn't give it all up to stay in one place with one woman. He couldn't be a father.

Abby would be better off without him anyway. When it came right down to it, he just wasn't any good. He wasn't the kind of man for a woman to keep, and it wasn't as if they had planned on this being anything more than a good time. And they'd had a good time. They'd had fun together and Ben had certainly enjoyed their nights, but he didn't love her. Did he? That did give him some pause, but Ben shook the thought off almost as quickly as it came, it was too ridiculous to consider. He wouldn't abandon her of course. He would see that she was provided for until the time came. He'd even make sure she had enough to get back on her feet afterwards.

He almost felt good about his decision and was telling himself that would be the best way when he looked over at Abby and saw the silent tears running down her face. He sighed; he couldn't think this out with her sitting over there crying. It was bad enough that she even had a reason to be crying. "Don't cry, Abby," he said as he sat down beside her and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I suppose that is an easy attitude for you to take." She wiped her eyes and sat up straighter. "I don't even know why I'm telling you. Why should this mean anything to you?"

She moved to get up and Ben grabbed her arm. "I care."

"Do you?"

"Yes. I do," he insisted when she said nothing. "There are places you can go, aren't there? I mean places for women in your position . . . until . . . well, you know. And afterwards, I'll help. I'll see to it that you have enough to get back on your feet and . . . " He trailed off as a look of horror began to grow on Abby's face.

"Wh-what are you saying?"

He shrugged. He thought it should have been obvious. He was sure she must have thought about the likelihood she would lose her job at the café when it got out she was expecting, and he couldn't imagine her wanting to stay in town anyway. Her reputation wouldn't be worth anything here after delivering an illegitimate child. "You're not gonna want to stay here are you? You'll need to get settled someplace new. Find a room and a job; I can take care of expenses until you do."

Abby gave a humorless laugh. "You . . . you're offering me money?"

"I'm not gonna leave you with nothin' . . . "

"I understand, Ben," she said cutting him off. Again her eyes brightened with tears, but none of them fell. "You don't have to explain anymore. Well, I wasn't expecting much, and you didn't disappoint. I'm sorry I disrupted your evening. We won't bother you again."

Ben was confused. He could understand her being upset, but not at him. "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything, and I don't want your money. I'll find a way to take care of us; without you."

Again Ben had to grab her to keep her from storming out of the room. "You don't have to do that. I'll help. And as soon as this is over and you're free again . . . ."

"Free?" Her voice cracked some, and she yanked her arm out of his grasp. "What does that mean?"

Ben scoffed. "You're not planning on keeping it are you?"

Ben never saw the hand that connected with his cheek coming but he certainly felt it. Abby was a tiny thing but she managed to knock him back a couple of steps with the slap.

"This is my child, Ben," she yelled. The tears were back but she was still standing tall, looking confident even if she wasn't feeling it. "It's your child. Maybe that doesn't mean anything to you, but I'm not giving him away. If you don't have any interest outside of giving me money, then don't let it worry you. I'll manage on my own just fine. Like I said, we won't bother you again." With that, Abby spun on her heel and stalked out of his room.

Ben made no move to stop her this time. After she slammed the door shut, he reached up to rub his stinging cheek, amazed she packed such a punch. He was sorry about the situation Abby was in, he really was, and he'd do anything if he could change it for her. But things were what they were, and he couldn't change anything. What could he do but make sure she had the funds she needed to start over? ' _You could stay.'_ The thought came to him in a voice that sounded a lot like his older brother. ' _Do I look like a daddy to you?'_ was his next thought, and that one sounded more like himself.

Ben shook his head; he wasn't going to argue about this with the big brother in his head. Maybe Beauregard had broken their bachelors-for-life pact and settled down with one woman, and maybe he was doing his best to be respectable. But if Beau had found himself in the situation Ben was in now, Ben didn't doubt his brother's feelings would be the same as his own. Yes, he felt bad about leaving Abby in the situation she was now in, but he'd offered to help. If she didn't want his help well, that was her problem, because he'd offered what he could. Money was the best he could do because there was still a lot of country out there, a lot a poker to play, and a lot of ramblin' left to do, and he wasn't going to give it up. Not so he could hang around here and play house.


	2. Could This be Love?

Ben was miserable the rest of the night, and he didn't understand why. He couldn't find any peace in his decision to pack up and leave; even though Abby had told him plainly enough that she didn't want his help. He'd paced his room for well over an hour before deciding to try and find a poker game to take his mind off both Abby and the disturbing news she had delivered. Poker was usually a cure-all for nearly any ailment he had, but it didn't do any good tonight. His luck was terrible and his heart wasn't in it. He couldn't win a hand to save his life, and after losing more than fifty dollars, Ben decided it wasn't worth his time anymore and called it a night.

The night was still young by Maverick standards, but Ben found himself going back to his room anyway. He couldn't play poker, he didn't feel like drinking in a crowded tavern, and the thought of looking for any female companionship was definitely out of the question. Abby would have no interest in seeing him of course, and at the moment, he couldn't stomach the thought of anyone else.

By the time he got to the hotel he'd called home for the last few months, his thoughts were firmly rooted in Abby. He still didn't understand why she'd been so upset today. Oh, he realized she was facing things he didn't have to concern himself with, he wouldn't become a pariah because of this, but he'd offered her a way out hadn't he? The next few months would be hard, sure, but he'd help her move on after the fact. Only today Abby hadn't sounded like she wanted to move on; Ben couldn't understand that. If she wanted to keep and raise the baby that was her business, but why would she want to? Wasn't this going to be awkward enough for her, why would she saddle herself with the problem indefinitely? " _This is my child, Ben. It's your child."_ Abby's words from earlier came back to him and he didn't like the way they left him feeling. His child? Technically that was true he supposed, but did this really count? He didn't want this, he hadn't asked for it, but then, neither had Abby.

Unbidden, he again found the thought of staying coming to mind. Staying just wouldn't work. He didn't want a family. Surely it wouldn't be fair to Abby to stick around if he didn't want to. And didn't the baby deserve a father who actually wanted him? Ben started as he realized exactly what he'd been thinking. He wasn't staying, not even for Abby. And he wasn't a father. Maybe Abby was ready for that, and if she was he was still willing to make sure she had what she needed, monetarily speaking at least. He just couldn't offer her anything else, no matter how bad a taste that decision left in his mouth.

Despite everything Ben tried to do to convince himself he'd already done what he could for Abby he couldn't shake a lingering sense of dissatisfaction. And after five days trying to think and puzzle things out, he still couldn't make himself feel right about what he kept telling himself he wanted to do. He didn't understand the problem; he'd never had any difficulty leaving before. But he'd never left a girl in this position before, either. He finally made the decision to see Abby one more time, and again make his offer. He would feel better about leaving if she would take something from him, and if she refused again, well, no one would be able to say he hadn't tried.

The next morning he rolled out of bed far too early and went to the café where Abby worked. She had been on the morning shift for about month now, and Ben figured seeing her at work would make it harder for her to refuse him or make a scene.

Going inside, Ben found an empty table and waited. It wasn't Abby that came to wait on him, though, it was Lucy Mullins. He'd meet Lucy a few times, but he hadn't been expecting to see her today. She usually worked the shift Abby didn't.

Lucy smiled when she saw him. "Mornin', gamblin' man. You have a lot of luck last night?"

Ben returned the smile. "Lucy," he greeted, choosing not to answer the question about last night's poker. He hadn't played since his disastrous night after talking to Abby. "I was expecting Abby to be here."

She gave him an odd look. "You haven't seen her?"

It was a fair question, Lucy knew he and Abby had been keeping regular company together. "Not the last few days, no."

"Oh," she said her bewildered expression growing. "Then you don't know?"

Ben's heart skipped a beat. Had something happened? "Know what?"

"Well, she doesn't work mornings anymore. She said she needed to work nights so we changed shifts."

"She's at her room then?"

The girl shrugged. "I suppose. She was here till closing last night."

He jumped up and grabbed his hat. "Thank you, Lucy."

"You're not going to eat?"

"Don't have the time now." Leaving the bemused young woman in his wake, Ben hurried out and quickly made the three block walk to the boarding house Abby kept a room in. Going inside, Ben climbed the stairs and knocked softly on her door.

"Yes?" came Abby's voice from the other side of the door.

Ben's brows furrowed. Abby sounded tired, not sleepy just worn out.

"Who is it?" Abby asked when he said nothing.

"It's Ben." There was no reply or any other sound from inside the room. "I'd like to talk, Abby. Please."

After a long moment, he heard the door knob rattling and Abby cracked open the door. "What do you want, Ben?"

"I wanna talk. Can I come in?"

He heard a heavy sigh, but Abby stepped away from the door.

He entered the room and was stunned to see Abby looked as worn out as she had sounded before. She looked a little pale and dark circles were under her eyes. She wasn't dressed either, unusual for her given the time of the morning it was, and her hair had merely been pulled back in a simple braid, tendrils that had escaped the tie framing her face.

"I thought you would have been gone by now," she said wearily as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Gone where?"

Abby scoffed. "Natchez, Mobile, Savannah, New Orleans, anywhere but here."

"No. No, I . . . I wanted to talk to you again before . . . well, before I left."

"Why? I didn't know we had anything left to say to one another."

Ben grimaced; she wasn't going to make this easy for him. He turned his hat around in his hands a few times, trying to gather his thoughts before he spoke. "I went to the café. Lucy told me you weren't working mornings anymore."

"No."

"Is something wrong?"

The indifference that he'd seen in her eyes since he'd come in faded. "It's easier to work in the evening. I . . . I haven't been feeling well in the mornings."

Ben noticed her hand go to her belly and he understood exactly what she was saying. A surprising feeling of guilt crept in as he realized she was already being inconvenienced by this, and it would only get worse. And was it his imagination or did her waist not look as trim as it once had? He wondered how long it would be before people started to notice her situation, how long before she would be considered a loose woman. One way or another, her life was going to be forever changed by this. Was it right that he could simply ride off somewhere else without a backward glance?

Abby broke through his thoughts with another loud sigh. "What do you want, Ben? I'd like to try and get some sleep before work. And I haven't changed my mind, about anything."

"I didn't think you had," he said. He had hoped she had, but he knew as soon as he'd entered the room she never would. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I'll keep working until . . . I can't. And then . . . I don't know."

She seemed so small and alone now, arms wrapped protectively around her middle, her child; his child. And he could hardly stand to see it. "I can see you're taken care of," he said.

"No!" The response was hard and immediate. "I told you if money is all you're offering . . . "

"I'm not," he cut in.

Abby stopped and gave him a questioning look. "What?"

"I'm not talkin' about money, Abby. I'm talkin' about stayin'." He found the words coming out almost before he could realize what he was saying.

"Staying? Until the baby . . . "

He shook his head. "For good." It wasn't the kind of thing Ben Maverick said. He wasn't the staying kind. He didn't know if he loved Abby or not, and he certainly wasn't the daddy kind, but the words came anyway. The look on Abby's face almost made it worth what it was costing him to say them.

"For-for good?"

"You're right. That's just as much my child as it is yours, it's partly my responsibility."

Abby's eyes teared up as she looked at him. "You really mean that? You're staying?"

He didn't know why he'd said it, but the guilt and uncertainty that he'd been feeling for days began to dissipate and Ben found himself nodding. "I am."

A smile broke out over Abby's face, and the tears began to fall as she got up from the bed and threw her arms around him. "Oh, Ben, you don't . . . I'd hoped . . . Ben."

Ben couldn't help but smile when he felt her in his arms again. It felt so right for her to be there; that was why he hadn't said good-bye months ago. Was this love? He still didn't know about that, but he did know he liked the way it felt to hold her, and he liked seeing that smile on her face. It was that smile, that feeling, that made him say the words he never thought would come out of his mouth. Words he'd never, ever dreamed he would say, words he could hardly believe actually passed his lips. "Abby, will you marry me?"


	3. Do I Look Like a Daddy to You?

Ten days later, Ben and his wife were at a hotel in Louisiana. His wife; Ben was still having a hard time coming to terms with that. It had taken a while for the full effect of what he'd done to hit him, but when it had, it had hit him hard. He was married; him Bentley Maverick. He was the boy who had once sat with his brother outside their childhood home and made a pact that they would remain carefree, footloose bachelors for life. Well, he'd broken that pact. Of course, Beau had broken their pact years ago when he'd found Belle, and Ben had wished him the best, but _he'd_ never had any intention of going back on his vow. He was now married, though, and he had a child on the way.

His eyes strayed over to Abby, lying quietly on the bed. He was filled with mixed emotions every time he looked at her; he still wasn't exactly sure what his feelings for her were. That he cared about her was undeniable, but caring wasn't necessarily equivalent to love. There were only a few people Ben could honestly say he'd loved, and he didn't know if Abby was one of them. He wondered if she knew his feelings, or rather lack thereof, and if she was okay with them. Not that she'd had too much choice; surely she hadn't wanted to endure the ridicule of being an unwed mother any more than he had wanted her to. But what about when all this was over? He mentally shook himself; they should probably get through this before he started worrying about what would happen afterward.

Mixed emotions or not, Ben couldn't keep himself from smiling as he watched her; she really was quite a woman. It hadn't taken Ben long to surmise they couldn't stay in Hattiesburg, not if he really wanted to protect Abby's reputation. He knew the reason for their sudden marriage would be known once Abby's . . . condition started to show, and the rumors were bound to fly. If he'd wanted her to have to endure that he certainly wouldn't have gone through the trouble of marrying her. Besides, married or not, he was getting restless and there was nothing to keep Abby in Hattiesburg. He had presented Texas as an option because his brother was there, and for the moment, it was as good a place as anywhere. Abby hadn't had any objections so they started out.

It hadn't taken him long to find out the trip was going to be different than any he had ever taken before. Traveling with a wife wasn't the same as traveling alone, and when one's wife was a soon-to-be mother, things were even more complicated. Just as Abby had said, the mornings weren't kind to her, and he hadn't realized just what that had meant until their first morning together. Some days were better than others, but her stomach felt unsettled every single morning. Even if she escaped being physically sick for a day the feeling was there, and there were only a few foods that didn't make her feel nauseous just by mentioning them. For that reason alone the short time they had spent traveling had been rough on her, but he had yet to hear a word of complaint from her. She really was everything a man could want in a woman; beautiful, sweet, fun. If a man had to give up his ramblin' ways, Abby was the best in the world. He just wasn't sure he was ready for all that; if he could ever be ready for it.

He blew out a breath; he was dying for a cup of coffee, but he would have to wait until he could leave Abby to get one. This morning was a bad day. He was sure the smell of coffee wouldn't agree with her, and he wouldn't do anything to make this worse than it already was. She'd been quiet the last several minutes, though; maybe she was starting to feel better. "How you feelin'?" he asked softly moving a little closer to the bed. "Any better?"

Abby nodded. "It's not so bad."

"I'm sorry." The words were said with all sincerity. He'd done a lot of thinking since his impromptu proposal, and the way he saw it, as inconvenient as this was for him, he'd been dealt the better hand. All the rumors and judgmental attitudes were aimed at the unwed mother, with hardly a word said about the unwed father, and he wasn't the one who was sick every single day or the one that would have to carry a child, or give birth. He didn't even want to think about that.

"I'm fine, Ben. Really. I'm not the first expectant woman that's had to travel. And it will go away eventually. Hopefully."

"Can I get you anything?" It had the potential to be a dangerous question: one never knew what would upset Abby's fragile stomach. But he had to have some coffee soon, and going down for Abby would give him the perfect excuse.

Abby smiled and took his hand. "You can hardly stand it, can you?"

Ben feigned innocence. "What?"

Even ill she still managed to give him a look. "I can't eat, it doesn't mean you shouldn't. I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"I managed without you for several days."

There had been no malice behind the words, but Ben still felt a sharp stab of guilt. "Do you need anything?" Maybe he had let her down before, but he was going to do his best to make up for it.

"Do you think they have any tea?"

"I'll see." Ben had a fleeting urge to kiss her before he left, but something stopped him. Bizarre as it sounded, they hadn't kissed since their "wedding". It just hadn't seemed right, and it didn't feel quite right now so he just squeezed her hand. "I'll be back."

Making sure the chamber pot was within easy reach if Abby needed it, Ben went downstairs in search of coffee. When he got to the small restaurant he ordered a hardy breakfast and plenty of coffee. He was sorry Abby was sick, but he was glad for the chance to eat whatever he wanted, and however much he wanted without having to worry about how it would affect her.

The proprietor's wife, Mrs. Lovell, had served him his breakfast. She was a pleasant woman, middle-aged and plump, and even though they had only been here two nights, she had found herself falling victim to the gambler's smile and blue eyes. "Can I get you anything else Mr. Maverick?" she asked as she filled his coffee for the fourth time and cast an amused eye over what very little remained of his eggs, bacon, grits, and half-dozen biscuits.

Ben chuckled. "No, ma'am. Not unless you have tea. For my . . . my wife." The word just sounded unnatural and Ben felt like it had to be forced out. "She's uhhh . . . well, she's not feeling well."

The older woman studied him for a minute. "Yes, we have tea. I'll get you some to take back with you."

"Thank you."

He was just finishing up his coffee when she returned with the cup of tea. "I hope it's nothing serious," she said as she passed him the cup. "There is a doctor in town if you'd like me to send for him."

"Oh, that's –that's not necessary, thank you. It's nothing . . ." Ben cleared his throat. "It's not some . . . she'll ummm . . . I-I think she'll be fine."

A knowing smile came to her face. "Mr. Maverick, I don't wish to pry, but is your wife in a family way?"

The question had been asked out of concern and Ben knew it, but that didn't stop his face from turning five different shades of red at the woman's no-nonsense, matter-of-fact tone. "How did you know?" he asked shocked that she had guessed Abby's condition. Immediately, a feeling of chagrin about the uncouth way he'd blurted out the question came over him, and he amended his answer to something more civilized. "I mean, yes. Yes, ma'am. She is."

She patted his hand. "A woman's intuition, dear." Her smile grew. "This is your first?"

Ben nodded. "Yes."

"I have something that may help her with her morning troubles. If you don't mind that is."

Ben sighed. "No, ma'am, anything that you could do would be very much appreciated."

"Wait here."

She left again and this time, she returned with a tray holding the cup and a small teapot. "Ginger root," she said as she passed him the tray. "In the tea. It's not a sure thing, but it sometimes helps."

"Thank you," Ben told her keeping his fingers crossed it would help. Anything that could ease her trouble would be good, not only for Abby, but it would make the remainder of their trip much easier.

"You're quite welcome. Now run along a see to your wife, and congratulations to you both. My Henry and I have three, and every one of them holds a special place in my heart, but there is nothing quite like the first time. It's a wonderful time; you're a very lucky young man."

Ben stared at her as she turned to go back into the kitchen, her words ringing in his ears. Run along and see to your wife. There's nothing like the first time. It wasn't supposed to have been like this. He had just wanted dinner with Abby, just one night. And then another, and another, and another, and then he'd wanted more. He could have walked away dozens of times before that fateful night Abby had become his lover, even after that he could have left. But he hadn't, he'd stayed and Abby had again shared his bed, and again, and now here he was receiving directions to care for his wife. He didn't know which was more frightening, being given the instructions or finding out that it wasn't as distasteful as he'd always imagined it would be. The truth was, he was starting to think that it was more than a little likely he did love Abby. And that alone scared him to death, not to mention a baby.

Ben sighed as he looked at the door Mrs. Lovell had just gone through. He had an urge to run through it and ask the woman the burning question that had been nagging at him for more than two weeks now. Do I look like a daddy to you?


	4. The New Mavericks

By the time they reached Texas, Ben was starting to wonder why he'd thought going to his brother's was such a good idea. Did he really want to spend extended amounts of time with Beauregard? Especially considering he was bringing his brand new wife and well, her condition along with him. Not that Beauregard had any room to judge getting married, but a little thing like that had never stopped Beau before. And what would his brother's reaction to his impending fatherhood be? The more he thought about it, the more Ben was sure this visit wasn't one of his better ideas. The closer they got to Little Bend the more uncertain Ben became. He was constantly thinking about the best way to explain the sudden change in his marital status, wondering how long it would be before it became obvious Abby was in a family way, and what kind of questions that knowledge would raise.

They arrived in Little Bend late one afternoon. Ben didn't think going out to his brother's small ranch tonight would be in anyone's best interest and got him and Abby a room at the hotel. He could tell Abby appreciated the gesture. She hadn't uttered any complaint during the trip but it was obvious she was relieved to have finally reached their destination and glad to have a night of rest before meeting her new family. There was a smile on her face as she changed for supper, and Ben couldn't help but be a little envious as he watched her. What he wouldn't give to be that relaxed right now. Instead, thoughts of Beau and the reception he was going to get tomorrow were occupying his mind.

"Ben? Could you help me button these?"

Ben was jerked out of his reverie by the question. "What?"

"Could you help me with these buttons?" she asked again.

"Oh, yeah."

Ben stood and began to fumble with the buttons on the back of Abby's dress. He was surprised at how difficult some of them were to fasten. Was it always this hard for a woman to get dressed?

"Little Bend does have a general store doesn't it?"

"There was one last time I was here."

"I'll need some fabric for new dresses soon." She turned around to face him, a smile on her face. "I think this will be the last night I'll be wearing this one for a while." Her hand went to her middle and the reason the dress had been so difficult to button became obvious to Ben. "It's happening a little sooner than I thought it would," she said flushing slightly. "Or perhaps not."

"Uhhh, how-how long . . . ." Ben was trying to find the most delicate way to word his question. He hadn't given it much thought before but he'd just realized he didn't know how long Abby had been pregnant, or how much longer she had. The entire thing had been something of an elephant in the room since the fateful day Ben had asked her to marry him. The baby may have been the reason they'd gotten married, but neither had seen fit to talk about that reason. Even now Abby looked taken aback by the question.

"Oh, about three months."

"So it should be born . . . . "

"Umm, Oc-October, I think."

"October? Well, that gives us a little time." Actually, it didn't, six months wasn't nearly enough time for him to come to terms with the fact that life as he'd always known it was over.

"Yes, I suppose it does." Abby was beginning to look as panicked as he felt.

Ben cleared his throat. "Well, should we go down for dinner?" he asked offering his arm with a smile. Having found out what he needed to know, at least for now, he was ready to get off the awkward topic.

Abby smiled in return, apparently put more at ease by his actions. "Of course."

It was good to see Abby smiling at the prospect of food again. Her stomach seemed to have gotten much stronger the past few days. Whether because of the ginger or the natural passage of time neither was sure, and neither cared. Abby was glad she could eat a few things again, and Ben was glad one of his problems had lessened.

Abby's arm through his, the two of them went down to the hotel's dining room Ben feeling more at ease than he had in days. Being able to escort Abby to dinner tonight made everything seem more natural and for a while, Ben was determined to pretend he hadn't had to get married, and he wasn't a soon-to-be father.

Despite that resolve, Ben's plan didn't quite work. The baby wasn't an issue, but he couldn't keep his mind off his brother or what would happen when he and Abby got to the ranch. Speaking of Abby, he couldn't help but wonder if things would ever feel normal between them again. He didn't exactly regret his decision to marry her, but nothing had been the same between them since he had. Would he ever again be able to think of him and Abby the way he had in the beginning?

"Are you all right?" Abigail asked while they were waiting for dinner to arrive.

Ben forced a smile and tried to push Beauregard out of his mind. "Mmm-hmm. Fine."

"Are you sure? You seem, I don't know, unsettled."

"It's nothin' really."

Abby didn't look like she believed him but she didn't push the issue. "So, we'll be going to your brother's tomorrow?"

Ben was sure Abby thought she was changing the subject so he did his best to answer. "We can. We don't have to."

Abby's expression changed. "What? I thought you wanted to see you brother. Isn't that why we came here?"

"Yes. I did. I mean I do, it's just . . . ." He sighed and then smiled some. "I probably should warn you before you meet him. Beau can be kinda demanding, overbearing, quick-tempered, opinionated; judgmental."

"Are those just his good qualities?"

Ben realized he was painting a bleak picture of his brother. Everything he'd just said was true, but it didn't do Beau justice. He finally had to chuckle. "I'm sorry. I'm not really being fair to him. He's also charming, polite, and amusing; when he takes the notion to be. I'm sure he'll take the notion when he sees you." Abby was a lady and she would be a guest in his home; Ben didn't doubt that Beauregard would be on his very best behavior. Any words that Beau had for him would be spoken when it was just the two of them.

She reached over and took his hand. "Is he as handsome as you?"

Ben was surprised by the gesture and the question. That was the kind of flirting they had done before circumstances had gotten the best of them. The kind of flirting they hadn't done since saying "I do." It was kind of nice to have Abby acting like that again.

He laughed. "I suppose that would depend on who you asked, but yes, all the Maverick men are good looking."

Abby smiled. "Tall and dark?"

"Taller, though it's hardly enough to make it worth mentioning, and darker; a lot darker. More ornery too."

"Hmm, well, despite what you said before, he sounds interesting."

Ben chuckled. "That's uhhh, that's one way to describe him." Ben loved Beauregard, and truth be told there really wasn't anyone he'd rather be around right now than his big brother. But sooner or later questions would be raised, and Ben really didn't want to think about having to answer them. He'd just have to make sure he wouldn't be alone with Beau for the next few days.

XXXXXX

The next morning Ben and Abigail drove out to the Maverick place. The initial meeting went better than Ben had expected. Belle had been delighted to see him again, and though surprised by Abby was soon completely taken by her new sister-in-law and she wasted no time in dragging Beau out of the bed to meet her too. Beauregard was also surprised to find Ben with a wife but had acted the perfect gentleman, just as Ben had assumed he would.

It turned out Ben wasn't the only one with a surprise. Introductions had hardly been completed before the talk was interrupted by a baby crying. Ben was just as shocked by little Breton as his brother and sister-in-law had been by the new Mrs. Maverick. Ben couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't been told about his nephew and started to ask just that. Beau was apparently anticipating the question because before Ben could form the question, Beau offered the simple explanation of "You been keepin' to yourself a lot the last few months."

After the introductions had been made, the Mavericks spent the rest of the day visiting. Beau and Ben caught up on what the other had been doing since they were last together, and the women become aquatinted with one another. And Bret, even at just a few weeks old, monopolized most everyone's attention. Ben had to admit, there was something about the boy that demanded attention. He enjoyed watching his brother and sister-in-law with their son, and even seeing Abby with the baby did something to him. Every time he saw his new wife with the boy he couldn't help but think that in a few short months it would be their baby Abby was holding. It was a thought that both thrilled and terrified him.

After supper, Belle put Bret to bed and the women retired to the kitchen for coffee. Meanwhile Beau and Ben went out to the front porch for a smoke. Ben had the feeling Beau had wanted to say something to him all day and braced himself for whatever was coming as he lit his cigar.

After a long minute of silence and smoking, Beau broke the silence. "This was all kind of sudden wasn't it?"

Ben shrugged. "No more sudden than you and Belle. How long did you two know each other before you got married?" Ben already knew it hadn't been more than a few weeks.

"Point taken. Still, you always said you'd never do it. What changed your mind?"

 _I got her pregnant and couldn't make myself leave_ , he thought. Aloud he said, "What changed your mind?

"She did something no one else had ever done to me before. I couldn't imagine not having her by my side."

Ben hadn't been expecting his brother to be so open with his answer. It was going to be difficult to turn that one back on Beau. He couldn't honestly say he felt that way about Abby. He did feel something for her, and he hadn't been able to walk away, but he wasn't sure if that was love or guilt. He looked over at his brother. "Well, there you go." It was the only answer he could honestly give without opening up a new can of worms.

Beau cocked an eyebrow. "That the only reason?" There was a skeptical tone to his voice.

"What's that mean?"

"It means was that the only reason. You wanted her with you?"

Compared to leaving her alone, carrying his child, yeah, he wanted that. Ben nodded. "Yep."

"Well, I never thought I'd hear you say that," Beau answered with a chuckle.

"I'd never thought I'd see you with a baby."

Beau grinned. "I tell you, Ben, he's somethin' else."

Ben looked over at his brother. He'd been completely dumbfounded when he'd seen Beau with his young son tonight. Everything he'd told Abby about Beau was true, he truly could be one of the most difficult people on Earth to deal with, but it was obvious that he absolutely adored Bret. The stubborn, ornery, prideful man seemed to disappear when it came to anything that had to do with Bret; at times it had been amusing to watch. If a man like Beauregard could embrace fatherhood, maybe Ben did stand half a chance. "Hey, Beau," he said.

"Hmmm?"

"What'd you do? When you found out about Bret." Beau again raised an eyebrow. "I mean, were you happy?"

Beau shrugged. "I don't know if I'd say happy. I wasn't unhappy, but well, I had gotten married. I figured it'd happen sooner or later."

"You ever wonder what kind of father you'd be?"

Beau laughed at the question. "Yep, and I still do, but I reckon Belle will keep me in line. I can't describe it, Ben, he changed everything. From the first time I saw him everything was just . . . different. It was like gettin' married. I spent so long runnin' from it but when it happened . . . ." Beau chuckled. "I can't imagine what I'd do without them now."

Ben dropped his head back on the rocker and thought about what Beau had said. Sometimes he felt like he'd done the only thing he could do, and was sure that he'd make everything work out. Other times the whole thing seemed surreal, and he knew a disaster was just around the corner. Part of him still couldn't believe what he'd done, and he wondered if he would ever survive. Could he settle down in one place with one woman? It seemed like the thing nightmares were made out of. Then he'd think about Abby, think about the fact that he had every right in the world to her now, and he'd think that maybe it wouldn't be so bad. After all, Beau was married with a son, and he still earned his living by playing poker. Staying in Little Bend wasn't the same as traveling, but Beau seemed to be making it work. Indeed, Beau seemed quite happy; there was a tone in his brother's voice that Ben didn't often hear, a tone that told Ben his brother was content with the way things were. Ben wasn't sure if he wished he could see things that way or not.

"Is there somethin' you're not tellin' me?" Beau suddenly asked jerking Ben out of his musings.

Ben looked to his brother again. "No. Why do you ask?"

"You keep goin' off somewhere else."

Ben fought not to grimace. He wasn't much of a liar anyway, and it was almost impossible to lie to Beauregard. And whether Beau was or not, Ben felt like his brother was trying to dig information out of him. "It's uhh, it's still all kinda new."

"How long did you say it's been?"

"Bout four months." That was the answer he'd given earlier. He hadn't told Beau they'd been married four months only that they had been together that long. The answer seemed to have satisfied both Beau and Belle, and Ben hoped it stayed that way.

"Y'all been in Hattiesburg all that time?"

"Uh-huh. It was time for a change, though, and she wanted to meet the rest of the family."

"Think you're gonna stay here for good?"

Ben took a deep breath. "We haven't talked about it. Might be good for Abby, though. She and Belle seem to get on well together."

Beau suddenly laughed. "It still scares you to death, don't it? Settlin' down."

With that comment, Beau seemed to once again be Beau, the man who had been his best friend for years instead of his older brother conducting an interrogation. Ben groaned good-naturedly. "Like I said, it's still new."

"It's not that bad. I do still need to get away for a few days every now and then, but Belle understands. In fact, if you want we can ride down to Austin next week, spend a day or two there. It's not quite the same as travelin' but it's a change of scenery. And the poker pickings are better."

Ben nodded. This was why he'd come here. As difficult and stubborn as Beau could be, he did have a knack for telling Ben exactly what he needed to hear. Sometimes Ben just needed his big brother. "Sounds good." He crushed out what was left of his cigar and stood. "I suppose I better get my wife back to town."

Beau stood as well. "Just so you know, we have an extra room, and if my wife has anything to say about it, the two of you will probably be out of that hotel by tomorrow."

Ben laughed. "If my wife has anything to say about it, I'm sure we will be."


	5. Reckless and Rowdy

Beau was correct with his prediction. Before Ben could get Abby out of the house Belle had brought up the extra room and made the offer that he and Abby could stay there until they could find more permanent lodging. Ben knew Belle was alluding to the fact they would be remaining in Little Bend, and Ben wasn't sure about that yet, but it was hard to refuse the room. For one thing, it would be much less expensive than keeping the hotel room for however long they were here. And for another, Belle would give Abby some company. Ben fully intended to keep up his poker playing while here, and it seemed kinder to leave his new wife with his sister-in-law rather than leaving her alone in a hotel room in a strange town.

Over the next few days, Ben realized that as different as the trip from Hattiesburg to Little Bend had been, it hadn't really shown him what being married was like. Even with a wife, traveling was traveling. Living in a house with a routine, well, that was something Ben still had very mixed feelings about. Even though he'd stayed with Beau and Belle before, he'd never felt like this. He and Beau did go out every night, but there was something strange and constrictive about being in a home with a wife. When his brother again made mention of a trip to Austin, Ben jumped on it, ready to get out of the routine he'd found himself being sucked into even if it was only for a day or two.

"If Isabelle doesn't have any objections we could leave out the day after tomorrow," Beauregard said as they rode back from a fairly productive night of poker in Little Bend.

Ben turned to look at his brother. "Belle? You gotta ask for permission to leave town?"

"She's my wife. She does like to know if I'm goin' away for a while."

"And if she said no you wouldn't go?" Ben was genuinely curious. He'd never gotten the impression that Beau was henpecked, but what would he do if Belle did say no?

"She's not gonna say no unless she has a good reason, and if she had a good reason, no, I wouldn't."

Ben studied his brother; Beauregard didn't sound the least bit bitter or bothered by what he'd just said.

When he really thought about it, Ben could see the point Beau was making, and he supposed that meant he should ask Abby about the trip too. He wasn't used to having to consider anyone else's opinions or feelings when making a decision, though, much less asking if it was alright if he did something. Having to do so now just made him that much more desperate to get away for a while. He sighed with that realization, feeling the noose that matrimony had become tighten around his neck a little more.

"You do ask Abby about stuff like this, don't you?" Beau asked.

"Uhh, well, really it's never come up before. Guess I should."

"Considering their feelings does make for a more peaceful environment."

Again Ben just had to look at his brother. Belle had changed him; Beau wouldn't have said something like that a few years ago. Would being with Abby change him? Did he want her to change him? That was something Ben didn't want to have to think about right now. He didn't want any more marital advice from his brother either, or talk of marriage period. "It's been a few years since I was in Austin," Ben said changing the subject. "What's it like now?"

Beauregard grinned and started talking about the city. He started with the hotel and restaurants he liked and some of the new places that had opened in the last couple of years. He then moved on to the topic Ben was most interested in, the best places to find a good game of poker, and the unpleasant topic of wives was left behind until they got back to the ranch.

XXXXXXX

No objections were raised by the women concerning the trip to Austin, and more solid plans for leaving were put in place. Abby had seemed surprised when Ben had asked her about the trip. She had told him he didn't need her permission to go places, but Ben could tell she was pleased he'd had the courtesy to ask her opinion. He begrudgingly admitted to himself that his brother may have had a point with some of his advice.

The next evening the Maverick men went into town for poker, but with plans to leave for Austin the next day, called it an early night. The next morning the women made breakfast and afterward the men were ready to leave. After the horses were saddled goodbyes were made, and Ben couldn't help but notice his and Abigail's wasn't nearly as involved as Beau and Belle's. That was one good thing about how passionate Beauregard tended to get; he and Belle were so wrapped up in each other they didn't notice something was lacking in the newlyweds farewell.

The ride to Austin was uneventful and when they arrived, Beau wasted no time getting them rooms at his favorite hotel. The hotel was one thing that hadn't changed since Ben had been in Austin and the desk clerk was delighted to have both Mr. Mavericks back again. The restaurant they ate dinner at was new to Ben but Beau was known, and the young waitress was besotted when she found out there was more than one Maverick in the world. She flirted with both of them and Beau was polite and charming, but somewhat aloof. Ben made up for his brother's behavior by flashing her his smile every chance he got and adding a term of endearment to almost every statement he made. At the end of the meal, he kissed her hand before bidding her goodnight, it was only then that he noticed the look Beau was sending him.

"What's that for?" he said as they stepped out into the night air.

"Gettin' kinda friendly weren't you?"

Ben scoffed. "Friendlier than you? Yes. Never seen you that stuck up when a female was involved."

"It wasn't stuck up. I's just lettin' her know that whatever she was lookin' for she wasn't gettin' it from me."

"I'm sure it worked." Ben didn't even try to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. Beau didn't reply, just kept looking at him. Ben finally sighed. "We came here to play poker didn't we?"

"We did."

"Then shall we?" Beau was trying to make a point, whatever it was, and Ben knew if he wanted to go anywhere else tonight, he was going to have to bend.

Beau smiled. "I know just the place."

XXXXXXX

Beau did indeed know the place; the Gilded Lady gaming parlor and gentlemen's club. Beau had always had an eye for finery, it was something Ben expected and he wasn't disappointed when they walked in. The foyer itself was impressive, and things only improved the more Ben saw. To the left was the poker room. A bar ran along one side of the room, the rest of the space was taken up by felt-topped tables. A mere glance told Ben the games going on in this room were serious, Beau's kind of games. Already there was a light in his brother's eyes that only his beloved poker could put there and Ben had a feeling Beauregard wouldn't be leaving this room till he was good and ready.

The poker room was filled with voices making bets and ordering drinks; the sounds of cards being shuffled and chips being played, but overall the room was somewhat quiet. It was a sober atmosphere for men who took their games seriously. The room to the right of the foyer was another matter. Again a bar ran along one wall, but that was where the similarities stopped. That was the room the rest of the games were in, roulette wheels and the like, games that actually involved gambling; games Beau had no use for. That was also the room the ladies were in. There was a stage for performances, but plenty of young ladies were mingling among the games as well. Whatever a man was looking for he could find it at the Lady.

It was no surprise to Ben that Beau took up a spot at one of the tables in the poker room, bypassing the ruckus and gambling in the other room. Ben suspected Beau would remain where he was most of the night, and Ben planned on doing the same. But plans change and Ben soon found himself falling victim to such change.

After three or four hours Ben excused himself from the game he'd been in and stepped outside for a little air. He intended to go back to the poker room, but as he went back in found himself going off to the right. Six young ladies were currently on the stage in the middle of a dance and Ben stopped for a minute to enjoy the show, and then found himself by a roulette wheel. Ben's feelings about gambling were much like his brother's; gambling was reckless and too chancy. But Ben had been known to be a little more reckless than his brother, and something about the night made that feeling come out now. Almost without thinking, Ben placed a bet on the wheel, and won. Lady Luck had been with him during the poker game and it looked like she was going to grace Maverick with her presence a while longer. Against his better judgment, Ben sat down, grinning when he thought about what Beau would say when he found out he'd been at the roulette wheel. Reckless? Yes. But if the lady was going to be with him, Ben saw no reason not to be a little reckless.

He won three more turns of the wheel and fearing he was pushing his luck Ben made a move to get up. He was stopped by a female voice. "You're doing very well tonight."

Ben looked up and found himself staring into a pair or hazel eyes. He was momentarily taken aback but quickly recovered. "Lady Luck is with me," he said giving the girl his best Maverick grin. "Your name isn't luck is it?"

The girl laughed, it was a melodious sound. "Sorry, Charlotte."

"Close enough." He nodded towards the table. "Pick one."

"You sure? You seem to be doing quite well yourself."

"I'm sure."

"Twenty-three."

Even as he took the chips from the pile in front of him Ben was thinking he was crazy, but fifty was soon sitting on twenty-three. "Spin it," he said.

Charlotte laughed and Ben's eyes went wide when the wheel stopped and the ball was sitting on twenty-three. He'd been expecting that was fifty dollars he was simply going to kiss good-bye. "Again," he told Charlotte feeling really reckless and crazy.

"Go for a black."

Not nearly as risky, but Ben did as she said. When he won again he looked back to the girl. "Charlotte mean lucky?"

She grinned. "Maybe so."

"Again."

"Are you sure?"

"Uh-huh. Call it."

"Seventeen."

Ben threw out another fifty on the single number, feeling like he truly had lost his mind. When the winning number was called as seventeen Ben let out a whoop. Putting his arm around Charlotte's waist he pulled her closer. "You have any objections to stayin' here and seein' how far we can ride it?"

"Not if you buy me a drink."

Ben chuckled, he should have known she would say something like that. It was her job to get men to spend money after all. "Whatever you want, darlin'."

She ordered a bottle of wine - Ben didn't even want to know what it was going to cost him - and snuggled up beside him. After another couple of spins, Charlotte sat down in his lap. "You don't mind, do you?"

Ben was startled at first, and was momentarily tempted to push her away, but he shook the thought off. Why should he? There was no need for her to stand all night. But should he really have a woman in his lap? Ben shook his head, as though he could physically remove the doubts he felt. In his lap or not, it didn't mean anything. Charlotte was doing her job, nothing more. And if Charlotte was giving him his luck she could stay as long as she wanted. He looked straight into her hazel eyes and shook his head. "Nope."

"Good. Red this time."

Again Beau thought about how crazy this whole thing was, but he didn't hesitate to throw his money down. When the croupier passed over his winnings yet again, Ben's head started to spin. This was insane; it shouldn't be happening. It went against all the laws of probability. But it was happening.

"I think that deserves a kiss," Charlotte said.

Ben turned his head and found dark curls and hazel eyes mere inches from his face. A kiss? He was married, but what would a kiss hurt? One kiss meant nothing, just a little something for luck. He leaned in; closing what little space was between them. It was brief, simple, and as he had thought it would be, not much of anything.

When he pulled back Charlotte was smiling. "Should we be really foolish and go for thirteen?"

Ben laughed but nodded. "Why not?" He turned back to the croupier and passed over another fifty. "You heard the lady; thirteen." His brother would have a coronary if he knew what was going on, but Ben no longer cared.

Ben anxiously watched the ball spin around and he felt Charlotte squeezing his hand. The wheel slowed then stopped, and a small white ball was nestled in the slot marked thirteen. Another whoop cut through the room, a shriek from Charlotte coming in tandem. Without a thought, Ben kissed the girl on his lap, kissed her properly.

Charlotte was again smiling when they broke apart, but this one was a little more sensual than the one earlier had been. "Well, that's more like it."

Ben laughed, realizing he had put more effort into that kiss. All thoughts of Beau and Abby and how crazy all this was had fled from his mind as yet another bet was made. He didn't know how long this would last and he didn't care. All he knew was he was going to enjoy it while he could.


	6. Big Brother is Watching You

Ben stayed at the Lady until almost dawn, and his good luck stayed with him. He didn't spend all that time at the roulette wheel, he wasn't that brave, but whatever he played roulette, blackjack, faro, his lovely Lady Luck was by his side. The lovely Charlotte stayed by him as well. Finally when the girl's shift was nearing its end, Ben gave her a generous tip, as he had all the dealers, and one last kiss. He'd done a lot better with his kisses ever since that first halfhearted one earlier that evening, and this was his best one yet. He and Charlotte both put their hearts into this one, at least until Ben started to feel guilty. He was too close to starting down a road he had no business being on and slowly pulled back.

"Thank you, my dear, for a lovely night."

If Charlotte was disappointed he had pulled away she didn't show it, she merely smiled. "The pleasure was mine." She gave him one more quick kiss before she sashayed back into the gaming room.

Ben chuckled as he watched her leave. The night had been good but it was time for sleep now. He wondered if Beau was ready to call it quits for now and ducked back into the poker room to see how Beau was faring. Surprisingly, he didn't see his brother anywhere. That was odd considering the look that had been in Beau's eyes before, but Ben didn't dwell on it. Maybe Beau's night hadn't gone as well as his own had and he'd turned in early. Deciding he would catch up with his brother later Ben started back to the hotel.

As he walked along, a deep sense of foreboding began to come over Ben. He didn't think much about the uneasy feeling at first, but the closer he got to the hotel the stronger it became. Ben didn't understand. The night had been perfect. He'd had a winning streak that wouldn't end and the games had been good, even when he'd thrown caution to the wind. Maybe the feeling had something to do with Beau? Ben immediately disregarded that notion. Beau was a big boy, he was more than capable of looking after himself, and if he wanted to turn in early, well, that was none of Ben's business. By the time he was at the door to his room he'd managed to shake most of the anxiety off, unwilling to waste his time thinking about it. Too soon they would be heading back to Little Bend - and all the issues he had left there - and Ben wasn't going to spend what time he did have in Austin brooding over a bad feeling.

When he opened the door to his room, the first thing Ben saw was Beauregard sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs. Ben jumped slightly, caught off guard by the unexpected sight, then he chuckled; maybe that's what that knot in his stomach had been about. "Mornin'," he said stripping off his jacket. "You're in the wrong room you know. Get lost?"

Ben grimaced when he received nothing but a grunt for a reply. Beau must have had a bad night after all. After a long moment of silence, Ben spoke again. "Bad night for poker?"

"The poker was fine." The voice was clipped and full of irritation. Not the voice of a man who'd had a successful night of poker.

When no other information was offered Ben decided he wasn't going to get anything else out of his brother and chanced another question. "What are you doing here? Couldn't sleep?"

"As a matter of fact, I couldn't."

Ben unbuttoned and slipped off his vest. "Yeah? What's wrong?"

Beau heaved himself out of his chair and everything about the way he regarded his brother spoke of irritation. He drilled Ben with one of his infamous looks. "You."

Ben looked up surprised. The answer was blunt, even for Beau, and what precisely was it supposed to mean? How had he messed up Beau's night? He hadn't even seen Beau after they had parted ways at the gentleman's club, and Beau had been fine then. "Me? What I do?"

Beau's eyes suddenly flashed. That was the only warning Ben had that Beau's fist was coming his way, and it wasn't enough of one. Ben had no time to react before a well-aimed fist slammed into his chin. The force of the blow would have knocked him to the floor had the wall not gotten in his way. After the back of his head connected with a solid, unyielding wall, Ben was almost wishing he had found the floor.

It took a moment for Ben to regain both his footing and his senses. Once he did he stared at his brother in disbelief. "What was that for?" Beau had a temper, he always had, but there were only a few things that would actually drive him to get physical. Ben couldn't imagine what he'd done over the last few hours to incur that wrath now.

"As if you don't know you worthless son of a . . . ." Beau broke off with a grunt of frustration and turned his back on his brother.

Ben watched Beau carefully. Beau looked rigid enough to snap in two; back ramrod straight, hands clenched into fists, breathing slow and calculated. Whatever was wrong, Beau was still very angry about it.

Beau finally turned back around. "There's a lot of things I could say about you right now. Luckily for you, I can't say most of them without disrespecting my mother, but I'll tell you one thing, boy. It'd almost be a pleasure to lay you out."

Beau's eyes were still hard, too hard for Ben's liking, and he had to fight to keep from taking a step back. Especially when he noted Beau's right hand was still curled into a fist. He was going to have to watch those fists from now on.

Taking a deep breath Ben straightened, gingerly rubbing his jaw. He could feel a bruise starting to develop and he wasn't at all surprised to taste blood. "At the risk of soundin' ignorant, would you mind filling me in on exactly what I did?"

Again that fist came his way, and again Ben was too slow to dodge it. This blow didn't knock him back as far, but it hurt more, a lot more. Probably because he'd already taken one hit to the jaw. Slowly, carefully Ben tested his jaw to make sure it was still working. It was sore but moving like it was supposed to. Once more he faced the brother whose sanity he was starting to question. "Does this mean you ain't gonna tell me?"

For a moment the two Maverick men glared at one another. The staredown ended when Beau snorted in disgust and began massaging the knuckles of his right hand. "You got a real short memory all of a sudden, don't you?"

Ben didn't reply. He wasn't in the mood to play guessing games. If his brother had a problem he was just going to have to tell him about it. There was also a part of him that wanted to do whatever he could to keep another swing from coming his way. It seemed keeping his mouth shut was a good way to do that.

"Alright," Beau said when Ben didn't respond to his question. "You have a lot of extra females you keep company with, or was the one last night somethin' special?"

At first, all Ben could do was stare at his brother. Beau had seen him with Charlotte? He felt his earlier guilt try to gain a foothold again, and once more he pushed it back. What did it matter what Beau had seen? There hadn't been anything to see. He was a grown man, the lady had been of age; they hadn't done anything wrong. "She wasn't nothin' special at all," he answered carelessly, determined not to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Beau was suddenly in his face, hands fisted in his shirt. "What's wrong with you?" Beau demanded, actually giving his brother a shake.

"There's nothin' wrong with me," Ben snapped shoving Beauregard's hands away. He didn't care what Beau thought about his time with Charlotte and he wasn't going to stand around and be manhandled. "Except my brother sticking his nose in my business. I thought this was a free country. If a man wants a lady to help him with a game I don't see how that's any of your affair."

Beau took a deep breath and stepped back some. "Was she with you all night?"

"And if she was?"

"Lord, Ben, ain't you got any shame at all?"

"She was just doin' her job. She was keepin' me company and bringin' me luck. That's all."

Beau raised an eyebrow. "Bringin' you luck. Is that what they call it now?"

Ben's eyes narrowed, his own irritation rising at what Beau had just insinuated. So that's why Beau was so upset. He was thinking Ben had taken her to bed. "Nothin' happened, Beau. I don't know what you saw, but whatever it was that's as far as it went."

"What I saw was a woman perched up on your lap like she belonged there."

"And that's as far as it went. God knows you've had one or two on your lap over the years."

"Over the years, yes, but not since marrying Belle. You're married now, son. Did you forget about that?"

Ben snorted sarcastically. "No, I ain't forgot." Being tied down for the rest of his life was one little piece of information Ben was sure he would never "forget."

Beau scoffed, an incredulous look on his face. "Then what were you thinkin'? You got a woman waitin' for you back at home, and from everything I've seen a fine one. She not what she seems or does she just mean that little to you?"

Ben sighed and took a step closer to his brother, lowering his voice, forcing himself to relax, and hoping Beauregard might do the same. "Abby . . . no, she . . . she's exactly what she seems. But nothing happened." Beau glared at him. "I swear. What you saw and a kiss or two, that was it."

"I see. That's nothin' to you? You got a wife, Ben. How can you justify kissin' another woman, holdin' her like that?" Beau took a step forward. It put him closer than Ben was comfortable with but thank God he'd lowered his voice. That was a good indicator he was running out of steam. Beau's outbursts weren't for the faint of heart, but they were usually short-lived. If one could survive the initial storm, the rest wasn't so bad.

"I don't think you can," Beau continued. "I think you're tryin' awful hard to, but you can't."

"Nothing. Happened."

Beau raised an eyebrow. "Nothin'? Would you have wanted your wife to see "nothin'"?"

Again Ben felt the guilt creeping in. As much as he tried to talk his way around it, he knew his brother was right. He wouldn't have wanted Abby to see any of that; he really hadn't wanted Beau to see any of it. He finally sighed. "Alright, maybe it shouldn't have happened. But it didn't mean anything. I didn't go in there lookin' for her, and I didn't take her to bed. I wouldn't do that to Abby. I was just lookin' to relax a little bit and she happened to be there. That's all."

Beau's eyes were still hard, but he'd come down a lot from the absolutely livid man Ben had walked in on. "You're playin' a dangerous game, boy. I suggest you find a new way to "relax," because what you're doin', it's not worth it. Believe me. If she was worth marryin' to start with she's worth givin' up all the rest of them for." He didn't wait for a reply; as soon as he'd said his piece he pushed past Ben to, presumably, go back to his room.

For a long minute, Ben stood where he was, internally battling with himself. Part of him knew Beau was right; he had no business dallying in any way with another woman. The other part of him insisted he was right and he hadn't done anything wrong last night. Finally, he sighed; he was too tired to try and sort out the particulars now. Maybe it would make more sense after some sleep.

Why had no one ever told him how complicated marriage was? He felt a twinge in his jaw and thought about the punches he'd just taken, as well as the slap in the face Abby had delivered a few weeks ago. Not only was it complicated, it was painful. There was nothing funny about either of the confrontations he'd had, but the thought made him laugh; something he regretted when his rapidly bruising jaw protested the action and reminded him of just how painful his marriage had been so far. He reached up and gingerly felt the swelling. "Ow."

Ben finished undressing and fell onto his bed. His last conscious thought was he really hoped Beau's hand was hurting right now. Hurting a lot.


	7. A Change of Heart

When Ben woke up late that afternoon his jaw was throbbing, not surprising when he got a look at it. A large, bluish, puffy bruise was now coloring his face and the left side of his bottom lip was busted. Ben gently ran his fingers over the bruise, wincing at the contact. He'd give one thing to his brother, Beau didn't get physical much, but when he did, he got it right.

Carefully, very carefully, Ben shaved and then dressed. As he slipped the coat to his suit on, Ben wondered if he needed to bother going to Beau's room. There was a chance Beau would still be verbally armed, ready to deliver another lecture, something Ben wasn't in a hurry to hear again. Ben wasn't sure whether he was a glutton for punishment, or he was just uncomfortable with being on bad terms with his brother, but when he left his room, he went straight to Beau's.

Ben knocked lightly on the door and it was opened almost immediately. Beau looked surprised to see him. "I wasn't sure you'd be ready for me yet."

Ben shrugged. "I never did like eatin' alone."

"I know the feelin'. Let me get my hat."

Ben still wasn't willing to admit Beau was right about what had happened last night, and knowing Beau the elder Maverick certainly wasn't going to admit he'd been wrong, but a shaky peace was made between the two. Ben figured that was good enough for now.

Beau's restaurant of choice for tonight was a place called Flora's. It didn't look like much, but Beau swore they served up one of the best steaks in town. Since Beau knew his food, Ben was inclined to believe him. As luck would have it, their waitress tonight was young, redheaded, and bubbly. She blushed when she first got to their table, her eyes going back and forth between them as though she couldn't decide which one she wanted to give more attention to. She was out of luck if she was looking for a Maverick man, however. Beau was once again charming and devilishly attractive, but that aloofness was still there. Tonight Ben followed his brother's example. First of all, Beau was right across from him, silently telling him he'd better act right, and secondly, well, it just hurt too much to really smile.

Beau hadn't said a word about the bruising on Ben's jaw, not that Ben was surprised. Beau was sure he was in the right, and as such he saw no reason to show any remorse for what he'd done. It was something Ben expected after all these years, but he was pleased when he noticed Beau favoring his right hand some. It made him feel somewhat vindicated.

After dinner, the Mavericks stepped outside. "You playin' tonight?" Beau asked as he lit a cigar.

"That's why we came ain't it?"

Beau shrugged. "That's why _I_ came."

Ben sighed. He hadn't missed the emphasis Beau put on the statement, and he didn't feel up to another fight with his brother. "That's why I came too."

Beau looked over. "The Lady alright?"

"Yeah."

When they arrived at the gaming house, Beau let his gaze travel between the two rooms before giving Ben a long look and walking into the poker room. No words passed between them, and none needed to. Ben understood perfectly what Beauregard had just "said." Sighing, Ben followed his brother wondering how long Beau would keep up his you'd-better-behave attitude. He didn't need Beau's constant reminders to watch himself; he had every intention of doing just that. He still wasn't convinced that what had happened last night had been wrong, but he would agree that it would probably have been better had it not happened. Not to mention he was in no hurry to taste Beauregard's Maverick temper again.

Stepping into the poker room, Ben saw that Beau had already found a game and Ben quickly found one of his own. Pushing all thoughts of his brother, his wife, and the girls in the other room from his mind, Ben focused on poker.

The night turned out to be uneventful. His competition was mediocre, but they all played like they could afford to lose and no one seemed to ever get too upset when they did. All in all, it was a profitable night. It wasn't as enjoyable as the previous night had been, but money did a lot to make up for the lack of excitement and female companionship. Profitable or not, however, by midnight Ben was done. It didn't matter that things were going his way or that he was playing with men who didn't seem to mind losing, he was just tired of playing. His mood for poker and company gone, Ben left Beauregard to his game and went back to the hotel. They planned to leave in the morning and Ben was actually glad. The unpleasantness of his encounter with his brother had changed his mood considerably. He wasn't exactly looking forward to getting back to Little Bend, but he was ready to get out of Austin.

The rest of the night passed slowly for Ben. Sleep was elusive, and he spent most of the time thinking about Beau and Abby and Charlotte, and trying to justify his actions. It wasn't lost on him that the mere fact he felt like he needed to justify his actions was only validating Beau's point of view. He kept hearing Beau's words, 'would you have wanted your wife to see.' There was only one answer to that, no he wouldn't have wanted Abby to see him with the dancer and he certainly wouldn't want to see Abby carrying on with another man that way. All this led Ben to the conclusion that he'd been wrong.

Admitting he was wrong, even if only to himself, wasn't easy, especially after having spent so much time defending himself. There was no other way to say it, however. Things with Charlotte could have gone further, but they'd gone far enough. He still didn't want to be married, but he was. He was going to have to pay the price for it, and that included giving up his dalliances. It wasn't something he was looking forward to, but he was almost positive Abby wasn't dividing her attention up. He should be willing to give her the same courtesy.

He was startled out of his musings by a knock on his door and was surprised to find it was past dawn. He'd obviously been thinking about all this longer and more intently than he'd realized.

The knock came again this time followed by Beauregard's voice. "Ben, you in there?"

"Yep," Ben replied as he opened the door.

Beau didn't waste time on pleasantries or banter. "Still want to leave today?"

"Yeah. I guess." Ben looked at his brother. Beau was wearing the same clothes he'd had on last night and looked like he could use a shave. "Did you get any sleep?"

"Nope. Don't need it." Beau grinned. "Plenty of time for that tonight. Maybe. Meet me in the dining room in fifteen minutes. We'll eat and be having Belle's supper by tonight." With that, he went back to his room.

Ben shook his head as he shut the door. It never ceased to amaze him at how quickly Beau's moods could change. When Beau held a grudge, he held a grudge, but when he was over something, he was over it. Fortunately for Ben, it appeared Beauregard had decided to grant little brother forgiveness for his indiscretion with Charlotte. That would make the ride home easier.

Ben shaved, changed clothes, tossed his things into his bag, and went downstairs where Beau was already waiting for him. Again, not a word was said about the bruising on Ben's face. Instead, Beau merely led the way into the dining room as though the two of them hadn't had a falling out the day before. They located an empty table and soon found out that today's waitress was a woman old enough to be their mother, maybe even older. She was a pleasant woman, but she wasn't looking for or expecting anything from the men she was serving, nor was she offering any temptation for Ben. At least Beau couldn't get on him about that.

Once breakfast was done, the gamblers picked up their mounts from the livery and the ride home began. The ride was a long one, but relatively easy. The weather was nice, the road smooth, and a good night of poker had put Beauregard in high spirits. After a couple of hours, even Ben started to relax, and the last leg of the journey was spent in easy conversation.

Beauregard had made the trip down to Austin many times and knew almost exactly how much time was needed for the ride. As he'd predicted they arrived back at the Maverick place close to supper time, and the first thing Beau did when he saw his wife was wrap her in his arms and kiss her, soundly and properly. Belle was only too willing to return the gesture, and the sight chased away most of Ben's good mood. It wasn't the kiss itself that bothered him; it was the slight feeling of envy that filled him when he saw it.

Ben had always liked Belle, he'd always been happy for her and Beau concerning their life together. Never before had he been jealous over what they shared. Ben didn't know what to think. One minute he was upset because he was no longer absolutely free to do whatever he wanted, irritated about things like asking Abby's opinion about out-of-town trips, and mad at his brother for telling him to keep his hands off other women. The next minute he was feeling jealous of what his brother had and wondering if he would ever be able to come home and greet his own wife as Beau had just greeted Belle. The feeling was unexpected, unwelcome, and left him more confused than ever.

The kiss ended and Beau and Belle shared a meaningful look; a look that gave Ben the feeling he'd been forgotten about. He's suspicion was further confirmed when Belle glanced his way and flushed before taking a step back. "Dinner is almost ready," she said going back to the stove.

Ben looked at his brother and raised an eyebrow. Beau's only answer was a grin. Belle may have been embarrassed by what Ben had seen, but Beauregard surely wasn't.

"Where's Abigail?" Ben asked trying to get everyone's mind off the rather passionate kiss Mr. and Mrs. Maverick had just shared.

Belle turned back around, her face serious. "She's not feeling well."

Before Ben could comment Beau spoke up. "Anything serious?"

"I don't think so. She's not concerned. She was sick earlier today but insisted she didn't need the doctor. She seems better in that regard but she hasn't felt like doing much."

Ben grimaced at the news, suspecting Abby's condition was the reason for her sickness. He'd been hoping all that was behind Abby, but apparently her body had other ideas. "I'm sure she'll be fine," he said wondering if Abby had confided in Belle what was causing her nausea. "I'll check on her," he added moving to go upstairs. "Thanks for keepin' an eye on her, Belle."

Belle nodded. "Yell down if you need anything."

"Uh-huh."

When he reached the room he and Abby were occupying Ben lightly tapped on the door before pushing it open. Abby was lying in the bed on her side, eyes closed. "Abby?" he said moving over to the bed.

Abby opened her eyes and smiled weakly. "How was your trip?"

Ben scoffed; she was sick and still asking about his trip. He felt a renewed sense of guilt concerning his night with Charlotte. Abby had been here, sick in a new place where she knew almost no one, while he'd been keeping another woman company. There was no longer any doubt he's been in the wrong before. He couldn't change what had happened, but he could make sure he did better from here on out. "Belle said you were sick."

"It's nothing out of the ordinary."  
"I thought it was gettin' better."

"I did too." One hand found its way to the just starting to show bulge of her belly. "I think he had other ideas."

"Thought it was only happenin' in the mornin's."

Abby rolled to her back with a sigh. "Until yesterday it was."

"Anything I can do?" Again his mind was a whirlwind of thoughts that he couldn't sort out. At times like this, he was certain he'd never before known and would never again know anyone like Abby, and that being here with her was the best thing he could do. Then there were the moments like his confrontation with Beau where he came face to face with the realization that his life had irrevocably changed; he was going to have to live with the consequences of the choices he'd made the last few months for the rest of his life. No matter which he was feeling, they both scared him to death.

Abby reached out and took his hand. "No, it'll get better soon. You can go on and . . . ." She suddenly gasped and sat up some. "What happened?" Her hand went to his cheek but stopped just short of her fingers touching the bruise.

Ben smiled, grimacing when he felt the bruising anew. "Nothin'. Just a slight . . . disagreement with Beau."

Her eyes widened. "Your brother did that?"

"It's nothing that hasn't happened before and . . . he was right. I'm fine. Are you sure you don't need anything?"

She still looked concerned but she said nothing else about the matter. She shook her head in response to his question. "I'm fine. Go on and eat."

"Okay. I'll be back soon." Abby nodded as she closed her eyes again and Ben slipped out of the room.

Going back downstairs, Ben delivered the news that Abby was indeed fine and he was sure she would be better soon. Beau accepted the news without question, and if Belle suspected anything she didn't mention it. The three sat down to eat and afterward Ben returned upstairs.

Abby had fallen asleep so Ben undressed and slipped into bed as quietly as he could. For a moment he watched her and wondered if this awkward feeling would ever go away. Abby didn't seem to have any more of an idea of how she should feel than he did and had kept her distance too. Ben scoffed; marriage should have made sharing a bed easier, not harder. Looking at her, asleep in his bed, Ben was compelled to do something he hadn't done in weeks; he wanted to kiss his wife. Closing the distance between them he gently planted a kiss on Abby's forehead before he rolled onto his back and tried to get some sleep. This had to get better one day. It had to.


	8. A One Woman Man?

Ben woke the next morning to the sound of Abby retching again. He pushed himself up on his elbow and saw Abby over in the corner, her head over the chamber pot. Grimacing Ben sat up and silently watched her from the edge of the bed. She was almost done by the sound of things, and he wasn't sure how to help anyway.

As he suspected, Abby soon got up and rinsed her mouth and washed her face with water from the basin. She turned back around and seemed startled to see him sitting there. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," he said not about to tell her she had. "Not getting any better?"

"No." Abby sat down beside him and wearily closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"I just hope it doesn't get any worse. There's still a few more months to go."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Anything I can do?"

She shook her head as she started to rub a hand across her middle. The bump was hardly noticeable, but Abby's hand seemed to find it often these days.

They sat in silence for a minute before Abby sighed. "Ben, I'd like . . . I want to tell Belle and Beauregard about the baby."

"Why?"

"Because we can't keep this a secret much longer, and frankly I don't want to." She sounded irritated. "I think Isabelle already knows; she has suspicions anyway."

"You're being sick?"

Abby nodded. "She didn't ask, but . . . ." She trailed off smiling slightly as her hand again found its way to her middle.

Ben sighed. He wasn't ready for this. He knew Abby had a point, however, there was only so long a thing like this could be hidden. Maybe it would be better to go ahead and get it over with. "Alright," he conceded. "If that's what you want."

"But you don't want to, do you?"

Ben didn't have an answer. No, he didn't want to, but what choice was there.

"Are you ashamed of this?"

Ben wasn't sure shame was the right word. He wasn't proud of it, but a lot of people would never know the truth about why he and Abby had married. He wasn't looking forward to telling his brother, though, especially after what had happened in Austin. If Beau had been upset before, Ben could only imagine his reaction when he found out Abby was expecting. Beau might just go ahead and kill him.

"No. No, I'm not. It's just . . . different." He gave her what he hoped was a smile. "You know I always said I'd never get married, and now I'm married and gonna be a . . . ." Try as he might Ben couldn't force the word out. "It's different," he finished lamely. "You should tell her. It would probably help you."

Abby smiled weakly. "You don't mind telling them now?"

Ben shook his head. "No."

Abby's smile grew then she unexpectedly leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"What was that for?" Ben asked.

"No reason." Abby looked unsure. "Shouldn't I have done it?"

This time, when Ben gave his wife a smile it felt more natural. They might get through this after all. "It's fine. I'm just surprised." He reached over and took her hand. "You feel up to going downstairs?"

Abby nodded. "Yes." She squeezed his hand and got up to get dressed. Sighing, Ben followed suit. At this moment the last thing he wanted was to tell anyone about the baby, but he couldn't miss how happy the prospect seemed to make Abby. Maybe it was for the best, but he was keeping his fingers crossed that Beau wouldn't put two and two together too quickly.

XXXXXXX

Abby didn't deliver news of their impending parenthood right away as Ben was expecting her to. In fact, nothing was said about it all day. By the time he and Beau rode out that evening Abby still hadn't said anything, at least he didn't think she had. If Belle knew she was being awfully quiet about it, which seemed strange to Ben, and he found it even harder to believe Beau would keep it to himself.

The next morning when he and Beau got back from their night in Little Bend Ben got his answer about what Belle knew. As soon as she saw him her face lit up and she threw her arms around him.

"Congratulations," she told him giving him a squeeze. "You may turn out to be as respectable as your brother yet."

Ben chuckled weakly. At least one person was happy about this.

"That's the wrong Maverick, darlin'," Beau spoke up. "I thought I was supposed to get greeted like that."

Belle pulled back and looked at her husband. "You don't know, do you?" Her gaze went back to Ben, who silently shook his head. That big smile was back in place when she addressed Beau again. "Your little brother's going to be a daddy."

Beau jerked his head around to look at his brother and Ben met the gaze head on. He could almost see Beau's mind frantically putting all the pieces together and coming to the obvious conclusion that this was coming too soon after his wedding.

After a long moment, a grin broke out on Beau's face. He turned to Abby. "Looks like you're stuck with him for good now." He went over and gave his sister-in-law a hug. "Congratulations."

"Thank you, Beauregard." She was beaming as she crossed over to Ben and he couldn't help but smile.

"Should we eat?" Ben asked taking Abby's hand. "Whatever you ladies have been cooking up smells delicious."

The conversation during breakfast was carried by the woman, specifically Belle. She couldn't stop talking about the coming Maverick and how happy she was that he or she would be so close to Bret in age. There was a glow on Abby's face that Ben had never noticed before, and he wondered if it had anything to do with the fact the baby was no longer a secret. If telling others about the baby had helped Abby that much Ben couldn't feel bad about it. Although, when Beau tapped him on the arm after they were done eating and motioned for him to come outside, Ben did feel some apprehension.

Ben followed his brother wondering if Beau was about to give him an earful, but when he got to the porch he was met with an unexpected grin.

"You dog," Beau said.

Ben approached cautiously, his defenses rising, unsure if he could trust Beau's easy demeanor. "Pardon?"

Beau chuckled as he pulled out a cigar. "I don't know whether I should deck you again or pour you a drink." Lighting the cigar he passed it over. "Sit down."

Ben accepted the cigar and fell into one of the rockers. "Look, Beau, about Austin . . . ."

Beau waved him quiet as he sat down. "Got you a little rattled, does it?"

"You could say that."

"Don't excuse what you did in Austin, though."

"I know. And you're still thinking about hittin' me again, right?" Ben asked with a smirk.

"Yep. But I do understand how it could have thrown you off balance."

"Mmmm."

Beau studied his cigar. "Ben, I know it's terrifying . . . . "

Ben snorted; that was putting it mildly.

"Don't interrupt," Beau snapped. "A wife and a baby, it's a lot of changes and it hasn't been that long, but unless I'm reading that woman wrong, she's something special and she needs to be treated like it. Understand?"

"You've already made your point, Beau." Ben looked over and found his brother watching him with too much scrutiny. "You done?" he asked irritably not wanting this to go much further.

Beau raised an eyebrow. "That's a fast change in tone. You sure there's nothin' else goin' on you want to talk about?"

"I'm sure." Ben crushed out what was left of his cigar and stood. "If you're done, I'm goin' to bed."

Beau also stood. "I'm done. Just remember what I said about Bret. If you let it, this can be the best thing that's ever happened to you."

XXXXXXX

Things settled down over the next two weeks. Beau and Ben went into town most nights, but Beau made sure he had time with his wife and son too. As a result, Ben had time with his wife. Abby seemed more at ease with everything now that everyone knew about their coming addition, and despite her lingering bouts with nausea, she began acting more like the girl Ben had first fallen for in Hattiesburg. On the other hand, Ben was still in knots. He tried to take his brother's advice to heart, but between Belle's excitement concerning the baby and Abby beginning to look more motherly and act more like a wife with each passing day, he still had moments of panic. A time or two he had thought about telling Beau everything just to get it off his chest, but he could never make himself follow through. He just couldn't convince himself it would really do any good.

Ben was trying to get used to being a husband, though. It was unfamiliar territory to him but between his brother and sister-in-law he kept getting pushed into new things to teach him. One such experience he was railroaded into was shopping for Belle.

Belle had been planning to go into town, but Bret had been up half the night crying and didn't seem to be feeling well. She had decided to put the trip off and naturally Beau had elected to stay with her, but not before he had volunteered Ben to go for her. Shopping for food and household items wasn't something Ben routinely did, but given his new lot in life he figured he would have to learn to do it sometime, and as Abby was feeling good he agreed to go.

The ride in was quiet, and the trip to the store uneventful. Surprising it didn't take long to get the things on Belle's list and pick up some things for themselves. After the wagon had been loaded, Abby took his arm. "Do we have to go back right away?"

She was smiling and Ben was glad to see her looking well. Her nausea had been better the last few days, and again Ben hoped it would stay away for good. "No. There somethin' you want to do?"

"Just look around," she said. "I haven't had a chance to see many of the stores since I've been here."

"Alright."

She stepped away. "You don't have to come with me if you don't want to. You may prefer not to."

"Ahhh." Ben wasn't sure if she was just being nice or if maybe there was some lady's issue she was going to see about, but he wouldn't fuss about it. "Well, if you're sure you don't need me."

"I don't. Meet me in about an hour?"

"Sounds good. Maybe we can get something to eat before we go back."

Abby smiled and started down the boardwalk. Ben watched her a minute before heading to the saloon. Maybe he could find a quick game.

The saloon was mostly empty when he walked in, indicating he probably wouldn't have a game before it was time to meet Abby so Ben went to the bar. Ben wasn't much of a drinker, but he enjoyed a little something every now and then, and he hadn't had anything since being in Little Bend. He had learned since being with his brother that Beau had sworn off whiskey, something Ben thought he would never hear. Beau hadn't given much of a reason, and Ben hadn't pried, but whatever the reason, Beau was serious about it. Knowing how much Beau used to enjoy his whiskey, Ben hadn't wanted to drink around him, but the way the last few weeks had been, he could use a drink.

Ben was standing at the bar nursing his whiskey when he heard the voice. "Hi there, handsome." Someone's arms came around his neck, and a kiss was planted on his cheek.

Ben turned, a grin coming to his face when he saw who had given him such an enthusiastic greeting. "Sally."

The girl again threw her arms around him and this time Ben returned the embrace. He'd known Sally for years, and every time he'd been in Little Bend in the past he'd made it a point to spend at least one evening with her.

"Why'd you wait so long to come see me?" Sally asked pulling away from him, a mock pout on her face.

"I've been busy."

Sally raised an eyebrow. "Too busy for me? I should be mad, but I guess I can forgive you." Her arms were once again around him, but this time, a kiss accompanied the hug.

Ben leaned into her. He'd forgotten just how good a kisser Sally was, how exciting she could be, and how enjoyable their evenings together were. For a brief moment, Ben's mind ceased to function. All logical, rational thought was banished from his brain, and he found himself trying to remember why he hadn't looked Sally up before. Then almost as quickly as it had stopped, the normal thought process began again, and Ben remembered. Remembered Abby, his wife, and the child she was carrying. He remembered his time in Austin and Charlotte and Beau's warnings. He stepped out of Sally's embrace, ashamed he'd let it happen again, and after he'd tried so hard to convince himself he couldn't let it happen again.

"I'm sorry, Sally," he said. "I shouldn't have done that."

"What?" Sally chuckled looking confused. "You haven't gone all moral on me have you."

"I guess that's one way of putting it. I've, uhh . . . I got married a few months back."

Sally stepped away, surprise replacing the confusion. "Married?"

"Yeah," Ben said slowly expecting he was about to have to deal with an angry woman.

There was no explosion. Instead, Sally put a hand over her mouth and stifled a laugh. "Ben Maverick: roped, tied, and branded. I don't believe it. She must be some lady to have caught you for good. I probably should be jealous."

"You don't want to be married." Ben still had his doubts it was all it was cracked up to be.

"You're right, I don't. You've got the right if you want it, though. I wish you the best. You have time for a drink?"

Ben looked at the bar. "Uhhh, I better not. If it got around . . . ."

Sally nodded. "I understand." She gave him a long look. After a minute she giggled and shook her head. "You hear that? It's the sound of hearts breaking all over the country, including mine, because they just found out some lucky woman staked a claim on the other Maverick." She sighed. "I'd say I was happy for you but . . . ."

Ben breathed a laugh. "I understand."

Sally gently kissed his cheek. "Good luck, Ben."

Ben sighed himself as he watched her walk away. He'd made the right decision and he knew it, but it still felt odd to watch a beautiful woman walk away. Picking up his hat Ben went outside and walked back to where he'd left the wagon to wait for Abby. It was going to take some time to get used to this marriage thing.


	9. The Truth Comes Out

To Ben's surprise, Abby was already in the wagon and waiting for him when he returned. "I didn't realize it had already been an hour. You haven't been waiting long, have you?"

"No."

The answer seemed clipped to Ben and he noticed she was sitting stiffly. "You feelin' alright?"

Abby smiled, it appeared forced at best. "Yes."

"Do you wanna eat before we head back?"

"I'd rather . . . yes. That's fine if that's what you want."

Ben reached up to help her down, brows furrowed. He didn't believe she was fine any more than he believed she felt like eating. He wondered if she was feeling sick again. That wasn't likely if she were agreeing to go eat, but he wasn't sure what else would be bothering her. She'd been fine when she'd left him.

"You sure you're alright?" he asked when she hesitated to take his proffered arm.

"I'm fine."

"Where would you like to eat? There aren't a lot of . . . ."

"Anything's fine."

"The hotel?"

His only reply was a nod and another forced smile.

Their meal was one of the most awkward Ben had ever sat through. It was particularly bad given that Abby had seemed so much more at ease just a couple of hours ago. He did hazard a few questions hoping Abby would give him a clue as to what was troubling her, but she offered nothing. The answers she gave were mostly nods or shakes of the head, and the few words she did say were always in the same abrupt tone she'd used before. By the time he escorted her back to the wagon he didn't know what to do with her.

About halfway back he chanced another question. "Did something happen while I was gone?" He'd asked similar questions while they were eating with no result, but he was about to go crazy not knowing what was going on.

Abby gave a bitter sounding laugh. "I don't know, Ben. You tell me."

Ben looked over at his wife sharply wondering if she'd lost her mind. He hadn't heard Abby take a tone like that since the day she'd told him she was pregnant with his child. It wasn't something he was used to hearing from her, and he was at a loss to know how to respond. He was at just a big a loss trying to figure out what she wanted to hear from him. "I don't . . . ."

"No. I don't suppose you do."

Ben stopped the horses and faced Abby. "Just what am I supposed to know? If somethin's botherin' you, you're gonna have to tell me about it 'cause I can't read your mind."

The spark of hostility Abby had shown before left her, and she appeared to shrink some. "Who was she, Ben? The girl in the saloon."

Ben's stomach dropped. Scenes from Austin and his talk with Beau flashed through his mind, quickly followed by being in the saloon with Sally. He remembered how she's put her arms around him and how he returned the gesture; she'd kissed him and he'd kissed her back. The blood drained from his face as he stared at his wife unable to make his mouth form any words.

"Nothing to say, Ben?"

No, he had nothing to say. All he could hear were Beau's words from Austin, "would you have wanted your wife to see?" She had seen. Abby had seen him with another woman.

Abby finally smiled sadly and faced forward again. "Please take me home."

Ben reached for her arm. "Abby . . . . "

Abby evaded his touch. "Ben, please. Just go home."

The silence was almost painful for the rest of the drive. Ben tried to sort everything out in his mind for the time when Abby decided to listen to him, and Abby stared straight ahead, expressionless.

When they got back to the house Ben again made an attempt to talk and again Abby cut him off. "Not now," she said. "Please."

"You have to let me explain," Ben replied hotly. "You asked me about it so you have to listen."

Abby looked away, blinking rapidly. "All right," she said after a moment. "When you come in I'll listen." With that, she got down from the wagon, without his help, and went to the house.

Ben had the urge to run after her but decided against it. It would be better to leave her alone for a while. Sighing heavily Ben started to unload the wagon. Minutes later he sensed someone behind him and turned to see his brother.

"What happened?" Beau asked his tone telling Ben he wasn't happy.

Ben sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Somethin' I'm not sure I can fix."

"What does that mean?"

Ben shrugged helplessly as guilt assaulted him. "Sally Kane happened."

Beau's eyes flashed. "How stupid can you be, Bentley? Did you not listen to anythin' . . . ."

"It wasn't like that," Ben yelled meeting Beau's eyes.

The brothers stared each other down a moment before Ben slumped against the wagon. "It didn't happen like that. She came to me, and I sent her away," he said his voice much quieter. "I just didn't do it fast enough. Abby saw, well; I'm not sure what she saw."

"She was upset when she came in."

"I know."

Beau wandered over and stood beside his brother. "What happened?" The tone wasn't as accusatory this time.

"I kissed her. I shouldn't have, but I did."

Beau was quiet for a minute. "You're a jackass," he said when he finally spoke.

"I know."

"I glad you know it. Tell Abby that and she might find a way to forgive you."

Ben watched his brother in surprise. There was a hint of understanding in Beau's voice Ben hadn't heard in many years. "Maybe so," he admitted. "But I don't think she's interested in seein' me right now."

"Yeah, well, sometimes you get on your knees and beg even when they say they don't want to listen." Beau gave Ben a shove on the shoulder. "I think now is one of those times."

"I told her I'd finish those before I came in."

Beau scoffed. "Forget what you told her and fix this."

"Beau I think I can . . . . "

"I'll finish this," Beau said giving his brother another push towards the door. "You go . . . ." Beau threw up his hands. "Beg, grovel, just do somethin'."

XXXXXXX

Ben entered the house cautiously and saw no one. He didn't know what Abby had done when she came in but it was obvious Beau, and presumably Belle, knew something had happened. He wondered if Belle was with Abby or if she was staying out of the way for his and Abby's benefit. Either way, she wasn't around so Ben climbed the stairs to the room he and Abby had been occupying. The door was shut and Ben paused and listened for a minute. He could hear movement inside, but no one was speaking.

He knocked softly on the door. "Abby," he said. "It's me. Can I come in?"

The door opened and Abby stood before him. She'd been crying, he could tell by her red eyes, but at this moment she was calm. She looked at him a few seconds before walking away.

Since he hadn't been sent away, Ben entered the room shutting the door behind him as he surveyed the room. What looked like all of Abby's clothes were spread out on the bed along with her traveling bag. She was packing Ben realized with a jolt.

"You said you'd let me explain," he said.

"Please do."

"Not while you're runnin' around packin' your things."

Abby put the dress she'd been holding down and sat on the bed. "Very well," she said looking at him.

Unsure of how to start, Ben paced in front of the bed a few times before facing her again. "What did you see?"

Abby seemed to deflate. "I finished sooner than I thought I would, I expected you would be in the saloon so I came over to see if you were ready to eat. What I saw was you with a young woman, and the two of you appeared to be very well acquainted."

"She came up to me."

"Then I didn't see you return her hug? I suppose I didn't see the kiss either."

Ben looked down at the floor, cussing himself for letting any of this happen. For taking Abby into his bed one too many times, for Charlotte and Sally and this whole situation that left him feeling far too out of control.

"That's what I thought," Abby said quietly as she stood and went back to her packing.

Ben's head came up with a jerk, a surge of panic going through him. "Abby, please. Just listen to me."

Abby turned around. "What is there left to say?"

She was so calm, so rational Ben was taken aback. She should be upset, shouldn't she? He cleared his throat. "I-I . . . I didn't mean . . . what happened between me and Sally, it wasn't anything."

"Wasn't it?" She suddenly looked unsure and when she spoke again there was the smallest trace of hope in her voice. "She kissed you, Ben. Did you kiss her?"

Ben swallowed; he had a terrible feeling about this whole thing. He thought about lying for just a second but quickly discarded the idea. He wasn't digging this hole any deeper. "Yes," he admitted. "I did but . . . I swear it wasn't like that. I've known Sally for years. We usually got together when I was in town. She didn't know I was married."

"But you knew. I'm not worried about her, Ben. This is about you, and you knew. Why didn't you stop her?"

"I tried . . . ."

"Did you? Did you really?"

Ben didn't answer right away. He hadn't stopped her immediately, but he had pulled away. "I did when . . . ." Again he stopped before he finished the thought. He stopped her when he'd remembered Abby. He couldn't tell Abby she hadn't been the first thing on his mind when Sally had pulled him in.

"When you remembered you were married?" Abby asked quietly. "That's the problem, Ben. You shouldn't forget." With that, she turned back around and continued packing up her things.

Ben could only stare. While the rational part of his mind knew what Abby's packing signified, he couldn't make himself act upon it. The whole thing was surreal.

Several minutes passed with Abby gathering up the last of her things, and Ben staring stupidly, watching her. It wasn't until she fastened her bag that he snapped out of the stupor. "Abby, don't . . . please. Please, can we talk about this?"

Abby smiled sadly. "There's nothing to talk about. We tried. We tried for months, but you don't want this. I won't stay here in second place and keep you trapped in a marriage you don't want. It's too miserable for both of us."

She turned to walk out the door and Ben grabbed her arm. "Abigail, please. Can't we . . . I don't know but just wait. I know you're mad at me, but please sleep on it tonight. Don't make a rash decision."

Abby looked at him. Her hand came up to his cheek and again that sad smile found its way to her face. "No, Ben, I'm not mad. I wish I were, this would be easier then, but I'm not. You told me when we first met you weren't the marrying kind, and deep down I've always known that."

She took her hand off his cheek, looking down as she placed it protectively on her belly. For the first time since he'd found out Abby was expecting, Ben felt . . . what? Amazement? Wonder? He wasn't sure, but he had the sudden impulse to put his hand on Abby's and he almost did, but he was stopped when she met his eyes again.

"I hoped when you showed up and wanted to try this that something had changed." She sighed and took a step back. "I think I always knew it hadn't, that it wouldn't. I can't really be mad at you for not sticking to something you never wanted, but thank you for trying. Thank you for . . . ." Abby stopped when her voice cracked. Her hand went back to her ever growing belly. "Thank you for giving him a name," she said her eyes shining with tears. "It didn't work and I'm sorry for that. But thank you for not making him be born a bastard."

Ben felt tears burning behind his eyes as the truth become obvious. She was leaving him, really leaving. This wasn't an emotional outburst or a snap decision made in a moment of anger, Abby was calm, collected. She knew what she was doing, and she was leaving. He shook his head. "Abby . . . ."

She smiled through her tears. "Goodbye, Ben."

With that, she walked out of the room and left him standing there. And stand there was all he could do. His mind was telling him to go after her, beg her to stay, promise her he'd do better, but his body refused to do anything. Then from the back of his mind came a small voice, a voice telling him he was free. He was free from a wife, a baby, a marriage. He had never wanted any of it and now he didn't have them. Once again he was footloose. He should be happy. So why was this one of the most painful things that had ever happened to him?


	10. Confessions and Forgiveness

The rest of the day passed as did the night and the next morning, and Ben didn't leave the bedroom. Beauregard and Belle would certainly know now what had happened between him and Abby and he didn't feel up to answering any questions. He didn't have any answers anyway. All he knew was he was more miserable than he'd ever thought possible, and terribly confused. He kept telling himself over and over that he was in the clear now. He'd done right by Abby. He'd married her, he'd offered her financial support, and now she had left. She had left. That was the import thing; she had walked out on him. He'd done everything he could, and she had left him. He was free again. And at this moment the only thing he wanted was to have her back with him.

Sometime Sunday afternoon his pity party was interrupted by a knock on the door followed by "Ben?"

Ben sighed; his brother was the last person he wanted or needed to see right now. "Go away," he called.

Ben didn't expect the request to have any effect on Beau's behavior and it didn't. The door opened and Beau strolled in in typical Beauregard fashion. "You gonna lay up here and mope all day?"

"Yep."

"You expectin' that to change anythin'?"

Ben took a deep breath. "No, but I don't expect anything else will either. So if it's all the same to you I'll just lay here and mope."

Beau crossed the room and leaned up against the window sill. "Don't really understand it."

Ben sighed. "What?" he asked silently cursing himself because he couldn't ignore Beau.

"You bein' down. Works out better for you that she's gone, don't it?"

Ben opened his mouth to reply and quickly shut it again. He didn't have an answer. His first reaction was to tell Beau emphatically no, it didn't work out better. But didn't it? Hadn't he thought being married was comparable to prison, to a noose? Hadn't he lamented the loss of his "freedom" and wondered what he would do when he could no longer dally with all the sweet, young things that came his way? Hadn't he dallied anyway, pushing back everything that told him what he was doing was wrong? Hadn't there even been moments he resented the child Abby was carrying?

Self-loathing unlike anything Ben had ever known began to well up inside of him. He'd had everything a man could want right in front of him, and he'd ignored and abused it until it was gone. He was an idiot; an absolute, total idiot. He really wasn't any good for Abby. He didn't deserve her, and he didn't deserve a child. The only thing he did deserve was exactly what he'd ended up with; Abby walking out on him.

Beau took the silence as an opportunity to speak again. "Look at it this way. You won't have to ask anyone's opinion before you do anything. You won't have to consider anyone else. You won't have to control yourself around all the girls like, what was her name? The one in Austin. The one nothin' happened with."

"Charlotte," Ben ground out. If Beau was trying to make a point, he was doing very well.

"Yeah. Next time there's a Charlotte you can do whatever you want to with her. Of course, it cost you a fine woman, and I don't suppose you'll ever see your child, but you're free. That's the important part, right?"

Ben had heard enough. "What do you want?" he yelled, jumping up from the bed. "You want me to say you were right? Fine, you were right, about everything. I had everything a man could ask for and I let it go. As a matter of fact, I practically shoved her out the door." For quite possibly the first time in his life Ben was in Beauregard's face, shouting like a lunatic while Beau stood and waited for the tirade to end. "I did it. It's my fault. There's nobody to blame but me."

Ben dropped his head and took a breath. He wasn't sure if it was the outburst or the verbal admission that he was solely responsible for all the misery he was feeling, but he suddenly felt worn out. He looked back to Beau. "It's my fault. Happy?"

Beau smirked. "Happy? No, but I am glad you understand why she left. Now that you know the problem, what are you gonna do about it?"

Ben was confused. "What?"

"You messed up and you lost her. What are you gonna to do about it?"

"There anything I can do about it?"

"Well, you been up here pinin' away for nearly a solid day, and that's gotten you nowhere. Maybe you should try somethin' else."

"What do you suggest?"

"You want her back?"

"Yes."

"Alright then."

"I don't . . . ."

Beau sighed dramatically. "It amazes me that a brother of mine could be so stupid. If you want her, Ben, go after her. She's gotta be at the hotel. It won't be that difficult to find out which room she's in."

"What makes you think she's still in town?"

"The fact that it's Sunday and there won't be a stage out of here until tomorrow. Now, she could have walked or gotten a horse, but she didn't seem nearly hysterical enough for either one of those yesterday."

Ben stared at his brother, feeling kind of dumb for not realizing that himself. This whole thing had shaken him up more than he realized for him not to think about something that simple.

In a second Ben was back on his feet and trying to straighten himself. "You think she'll come back?" he asked as he slipped on the vest he didn't remember taking off. "I mean if I apologize, grovel, swear I'll never do it again, you think I still have a chance with her?" He had to; Ben honestly didn't think he'd be able to stand it if Abby really left.

Beau suddenly looked somber. "You hurt her, Ben. You didn't just hurt her, you were unfaithful to her. An apology's not gonna change that."

Ben felt liked he'd been sucker punched. Beau was right; he could tell Abby he was sorry all day, but words wouldn't make up for Sally or Charlotte, or this distance he'd maintained the last several weeks. "So, what are sayin'?" Surely Beau hadn't done all this just to tell him there was no point in trying.

"I'm sayin' if she's any kind of woman she'll slap your face and tell you what to do with your apology."

Silence took hold of the room as Ben stared at his brother. Ben had never considered himself to be dense but right now he couldn't make sense of what Beau was saying. Was going after Abby expected to do any good or not?

After a moment Beau sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, Ben, I don't know Abigail that well. I don't know what brought you together, what kept you together, or how rocky things have gotten between you before. I'm just telling you what to expect if you married any kind of woman. On the other hand, a really good woman, especially one that loves you, just might think your miserable hide is worth another chance."

Ben released a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "So you'd go after her?"

Beau seemed surprised. "If you love her, yes." He sort of smirked then. "If she's smart she'll still slap your face and tell you where to put your apology, but she might give you another chance."

"So what do you think of Abby?"

"I think you got a good woman. And if she didn't love you, you wouldn't have been able to hurt her like you did."

For the first time all day, Ben smiled. "Thanks, Beau."

XXXXXXX

The rides Ben made into Little Bend were usually relaxed and easy; this one was anything but. He made nearly the entire trip at a high lope, slowing only once he could see the buildings of town, and he still kept his horse at a lively trot until he reached the hotel. Beau turned out to be right about one thing, it hadn't been difficult to get Abby's room number. The desk clerk had told him right off apparently never thinking there was a reason Ben shouldn't know his wife's room number.

Ben took the steps up to the second floor two at a time and when he reached room fifteen finally paused to catch his breath. After a minute of standing in the hallway, he finally screwed up the courage to knock on the door. "Abby," he called.

There was a long pause in which Ben heard nothing. He was beginning to wonder if Abby was out, or if Masterson had given him the wrong room number when the door opened a crack. Abby looked tired and unless Ben missed his guess she had been crying again. Her appearance reminded Ben of the morning he'd asked Abby to marry him and guilt twisted in his gut. She had started this alone and now she was alone again.

He smiled weakly. "I know I'm probably not who you want to see, but I'd like to talk. Can I come in?"

Abby hesitated before nodding. She stood out of the way so he could enter. As soon as he was inside she closed the door and leaned against it, regarding him silently.

Ben took his hat off and inhaled deeply. "I've been doing a lot of thinking since yesterday. It's made me realize some things."

"Like what?" Abby sounded distant and cold.

"Like how much I do want to be married."

Abby sighed. "Stop it, Ben. Please. You don't have to sweet talk me anymore."

"I'm not sweet talkin'. I do wanna be married."

"You have a peculiar way of showing it."

Ben fiddled with his hat and shrugged. "I didn't know it until you walked out. Can you believe that?"

"I'd like to, but I believed you before and frankly, I don't feel like playing games anymore."

"This is not a game."

Abby gave him a look that told Ben she wasn't buying his explanation. "I'm going to be a mother, Ben. There are changes you have to make when you have a child."

"I know that," Ben cut in.

"And I'm ready to make those changes. Are you?"

"I don't know. I can't tell you I'm ready, but I am willin' to try."

Abby shook her head and looked like she was fighting back tears. "You can't try being a father and then quit if you decide you don't like it. I am having a baby. You can either grow up and take responsibility for this or keep running around doing whatever you please, but I don't think deal with the latter."

Ben flinched but didn't say anything. He deserved anything Abby had to say.

Abby sighed her breath shuddering slightly. "I'm not blaming you for what's happened; I'm just as responsible as you are, but this is real and I can't afford to be anything but serious."

"I'm being serious."

Abby looked down, her hand again finding her belly as though it was magnetized. When she looked at him again there were definitely tears in her eyes. "Ben, I lo . . . I care about you, a great deal. But I've come to realize we want different things out of life. I think we'll both be better off if we go our separate ways."

"No." Ben closed the distance between them and lifted her chin. "I don't want you to go. I know I've messed up, and I know I've hurt you, but I want you to stay."

"I can't," Abby said blinking back tears.

"Why? I swear I'll do better."

Abby turned her head making Ben drop his hand. "Because what if this is the easy part? If you can't deal with this now, what makes you think things are going to change when you have to deal with an infant? The changes are only going to get bigger." A sob escaped. "Please, Ben, let me go. I'd rather lose you now than later."

Ben took a step back letting his wife have a little more room. Abby seemed so certain she would lose him. Funny thing was, had this happened a couple of months ago, Ben might have let her leave. He couldn't do that now, though. Having her leave had only shown him how much he really did want her. He remembered the day they had come back from Austin and the feeling of envy he'd had when Beau kissed Belle. He'd wanted what his brother and sister-in-law shared, and he was realizing he could have it with just a little work.

Ben looked at his wife. "Abby?" he said softly. Abby was hunched over, sobbing quietly, and didn't answer so Ben plowed ahead. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry things had to happen like this, all of it, with the baby and Sally and this whole mess. I'm sorry for you, but I'm kinda glad for me. If not for the baby I probably wouldn't have asked you to marry me, and if you hadn't left, I don't know that I would have realized how much I love you."

Abby jerked her head up, tears still running down her cheeks. "What-what did you say?"

"I love you," Ben said with a rueful smile. "I've been a jerk and I've hurt you, and there's no reason you should believe me, but I love you. I'm sorry I had to lose you to figure it out. I don't deserve another chance, but I want one. I'm askin' for one."

He stepped closer taking her face in his hands. Tears came to his own eyes as he wiped her cheek with his thumb. "I'm so sorry, Abigail. You're right, there isn't a way to try this, and I don't want to try. Come home with me, and I swear things will be different. I don't want to lose you. I want to be your husband, and not just in name. And I'm not sure what kind of daddy I'll be, but I want to do that too. Please, Abby. Please give me another chance."

Another sob came from Abby and soon she was crying too hard to speak. Ben simply stood there, unsure of what he should do or say. He didn't know if this was good or bad. Maybe it was too late for apologies. "If you want to go," he finally said. "I understand. Just tell me and I won't try to stop you."

Abby shook her head. "No," she finally managed to say. After a minute her crying had slowed and she was able to talk. "Did you mean it? When you said you loved me."

There was no hesitation in the answer. "Yes."

Another sob came but there was a smile on Abby's face. "I love you too, Bentley Maverick. I've loved you from the beginning."

Ben took Abby in his arms and kissed her. Kissed her the way a wife should be kissed, kissed her in a way he hadn't in weeks. Abby wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss. In seconds all the fiery passion they had shared in the beginning was back and Ben was breathless when they finally broke apart.

"I love you," he whispered his lips brushing first her cheeks, then her neck. The softest of moans came from Abby before she melted into his arms. Ben was hardly aware of what he was doing when he carried his wife to the bed.


	11. Welcome Home

A lot transpired over the next twenty-four hours, including a serious talk that should have taken place months ago. It wasn't easy, there were moments that were awkward and uncomfortable, but by the time it was done, both Ben and Abby were feeling better about what the future held. They were also feeling well enough to enjoy one other's company again, and they eventually feel asleep in each other's arms. It was Monday afternoon before either Mr. or Mrs. Maverick left room fifteen again, and the couple that walked out was much happier than either of the individuals that had gone up over the last two days.

Since Ben had ridden his horse into town, he rented a buggy at the livery to take Abby home in, and he had a hard time keeping his eyes off her as he drove. He could hardly believe the difference two days could make. Saturday morning when they'd gone into town he hadn't felt like a husband. He'd been willing to stick around and remain faithful to Abby, willing to do what was required of him, but there had been a wall between them he wasn't sure would ever fall. Today was different; things were more like the way they had been in the beginning, the very beginning. Not that all his anxieties and self-doubt had gone away, but he had a better understanding of what it really meant to be married, and for the first time felt that this change, unexpected or not, could be a positive thing.

"What are you thinking about?" Abby asked about halfway through the ride.

Ben looked over and grinned. "Us."

"Really?" She hooked her arm through his. "I like the sound of that."

"I'm sorry it took me so long to figure things out."

Abby sighed and leaned her head over on his shoulder. "But you did figure things out. That's the important part."

"You're a very forgiving woman, Mrs. Maverick."

Abby looked up at him. "I like the sound of that, too."

Ben smiled. "So do I." He waited for the panic to set in, for the icy fingers of fear to run down his back, and the clammy feeling to come to his palms, except it didn't. His smile grew as he realized what he'd just said was God's honest truth. He didn't just like having Abby beside him; he liked having Mrs. Maverick there.

Ben pulled his arm out of Abby's grip and wrapped it around her, bringing her closer. Sighing contentedly he rested his chin on her head. "So do I."

XXXXXXX

One of the topics that had come up during Ben and Abigail's talk at the hotel was their living arrangements. Both had known they couldn't remain with Belle and Beauregard indefinitely, but neither had been willing to broach the subject until then. Sometime between the time Ben had first taken Abby to bed and the time they left the hotel the matter had been discussed, though, and Ben was left feeling like he'd finally been let in on a plot. He'd suspected from the beginning Belle intended for them to stay in Little Bend; by the time he'd talked to Abby he knew she did. During the course of their discussion Abby had casually mentioned that the property neighboring the Maverick ranch was for sale, and so long as they were searching for a place, Ben might as well look into it.

Being set up like that would have irritated him a few months ago, but Ben was a little shocked to find he really didn't care that much. He finally realized what Abby did mean to him, and for some reason he thought her and Belle scheming against him was kind of cute. Of course, not being totally ignorant of what was going on also helped. A part of him had known from the beginning it was more than likely he was going to become a permanent resident of East Texas.

It was two days after what Ben was coming to think of as his and Abby's delayed and long overdue honeymoon, he and Beau rode over to the old Collins place to look around. Beau had suggested Miles Richland, the banker, meet them out there but Ben had put a stop to that. Maybe he was slowly being sucked into the domestic life, and maybe it wasn't as bad as he'd always imagined it would be, but that didn't mean he was ready to start talking with bankers. There would be plenty of time for that if he decided to pursue purchasing the place. And there was no reason to drag the banker out of town so he could look at a place that was barely a mile from Beau's front door.

Over the last two days, Beau had repeatedly told Ben the Collins place was a nice spread – Ben suspected Beau was in on the plot too – but Ben wasn't prepared for what he saw when he rode into the yard. The house was bigger than he'd expected; actually, the house was huge and styled more like the homes of the deep south then a Texas ranch house. He was also impressed by the pasture land surrounding it. Ben was no expert, but he knew good grazing land when he saw it. This certainly seemed like an ideal place for anyone looking to start a place of their own.

"Why hasn't this place already sold?" Ben asked. The place had been empty for over a year, ever since the old man, a bachelor with no family, had died. "Too high?" The price was something he hadn't bothered to ask about yet.

Beau shook his head. "I hear the price is pretty reasonable, and the land's good too. Why it hasn't sold is a mystery. One that keeps Richland up at night, I'm sure. He ain't making no money off it just sittin' here."

The brothers tied their horses out in front of the house and walked around back where Beau began explaining the boundaries of the land.

"How do you know so much about this place?" Ben asked

Beau chuckled. "Richland tried to sell it to me once."

"Why didn't you buy it?"

Beau gave his brother a look. "I ain't a rancher. I got plenty of land."

"I'm not a rancher either, yet here we are," Ben replied. Sighing he took a good look around him. "It is a lot of land." It wasn't a massive spread by any means, but by Ben's calculations, a man could raise enough cattle or horses to make it pay. One could probably even put a crop in the ground if one was inclined to that type of thing.

"Not much in the way to expand, though," Beau pointed out. "Maybe that's why it hasn't sold."

Ben nodded. His brother made a good point. Anyone looking to start a place up would likely want to grow it. Old man Collins' place was sort of landlocked in that respect, but what was here would be more than enough for a man who earned his living at a poker table.

Ben looked back towards the house. "It's a lot of house too."

"And you like it."

Ben turned to his brother ready to deny the claim, but the smirk on Beau's face told the younger Maverick his brother had already read him. Yes, Ben liked it, although against his better judgment, and the longer he stood there, the more he liked it. He could see Abby here, making it into a home to raise their family in.

Ben suddenly grinned. It was crazy for him to be thinking things like that, and even crazier that he liked the way it sounded. "Yeah, I do," he admitted.

"You wanna go talk to Richland?"

A tiny bit of panic crept in when Ben realized his brother had just asked him about going to talk to a banker about buying a home, but he pushed the doubts back. "Yeah. But let's hurry before my common sense catches up with me."

Common sense, or fear, caught up with the brothers about the time they rode up to the bank. Ben was about to step through the bank's door, and for a moment he stopped and stared.

"You all right?" Beau asked.

Ben blew out a breath. "Yeah, it's just . . . ."

Beau chuckled. "Yep. Let's go."

The Mavericks walked in and Beau strolled over to the teller and asked about seeing Mr. Richland. "Tell him it's about the Collins' place," he added before the teller hurried through the door marked 'private.'

It was only a moment later the teller returned, the bank president on his heels. Richland came over and shook both Maverick's hands. "I understand you gentlemen were asking about the Collins place."

"That's right," Beau answered.

The banker's eyes lit up. "You're interested in purchasing the property?"

Ben saw Beau's gaze slide over to him. Taking a deep breath to steady himself Ben answered. "Yes, sir, I am."

A smile came to the banker's face. "Well, why don't we go into my office?"

The three men entered the office where Richland offered the Mavericks a seat and a cigar. "It's a fine place out there," he said as he sat down in his own chair. "I can't for the life of me figure why no one has bought it yet." The banker then began what Ben was sure was a well-rehearsed sells pitch, outlining all the merits of the house and the land surrounding it. Having just been to the place himself Ben already knew most of what the man was telling him but he sat quietly and listened.

"What's the askin' price?" Ben asked casually after Richland had finished. A lifetime of poker playing served Ben well and he managed not to choke on his cigar smoke when he heard the price.

"Remember, Mr. Maverick, there's already a fine house, a barn, fences, everything one would need to immediately begin ranching."

"The price is more than reasonable," Ben said smoothly, never betraying how the figure had thrown him off. It wasn't so much the price itself that had made him feel off kilter, it was reasonable, but the realization that he was contemplating paying a price like that for land of his own. He loved Abby, and he was finally reconciling himself to the idea of being a father, but the thought of buying a place of his own to settle down in was still making him unsteady.

"Naturally, the bank would be more than happy to grant a mortgage if you do decide to buy."

"Naturally." Ben was sure the only thing that would delight Richland more than selling the place would be to have a mortgage taken out on it, and he would have to take out a mortgage to buy it. He would have a nice down payment, but he would need to borrow the rest. That was also an idea he resisted. "I would like to discuss things with my wife before any decisions are made."

Richland nodded. "Understandable. I'd be more than happy to meet you out there to look around and see inside the house. Perhaps tomorrow afternoon, say two o'clock?"

Ben nodded. "That'll be fine." They again shook hands with the banker, who now looked absolutely delighted, and left.

"I think you made his day," Beau said as they stepped outside.

Ben groaned softly. "What am I doin', Beau."

That familiar smirk came back to Beau's face. "Well, Little Brother, I think you're well on the way to buyin' yourself a house."

XXXXXXX

The next few days passed in a whirlwind. Abby loved the house, just as Ben had expected, and she had given her approval almost as soon as she'd seen it. The only reservation Ben had was the fact he would have to get a loan from the bank. He'd never owed a man money before, a man that wasn't his brother that is, and he didn't like the idea of starting now. That was the only way he was going to get the property, though, so he bit the bullet and decided to take out a mortgage. Beau had pointed out that realistically a few months of well-played poker games could pay the loan off, but Ben still felt like he was signing his life over when he met with Richland for the last time. The banker's feelings were quite different; he was more than delighted to extend the loan.

"You've made an excellent decision, Mr. Maverick," Richland said after Ben had signed the papers and passed them back. "It's a fine place."

Ben wanted to tell the man he'd already bought the place and it was no longer necessary to talk things up, but he just smiled instead. "We're looking forward to moving in."

"I'm sure you and your wife will be very happy there."

"I'm sure we will." Ben offered his hand. "Thank you for your help."

"It was my pleasure, Mr. Maverick, and if I can be of any further assistance don't hesitate to drop in."

"I'll be sure to do that," Ben replied hoping he wouldn't have need of another loan anytime in the near future. Tipping his hat to the man Ben left the bank and made the ride back to his brother's house.

Despite his earlier misgivings about the mortgage, a feeling of satisfaction had come over Ben by the time he'd made it back. Before, buying a place of his own had seemed so final, like the last nail in the coffin of his freedom; in reality, he was kind of proud. Maybe settling down wasn't so terrible after all.

After unsaddling and turning his horse out Ben went inside to find his wife. She was in the front room knitting and smiled at him when he walked in. "Did you get everything settled at the bank?"

Ben grinned. "Yes, ma'am. How are you feelin' today?"

"Fine." Abby had started drinking the ginger tea in the mornings again, and it seemed to be doing what it was supposed to do. Mornings could still be unpredictable, but she was usually fine the rest of the day.

"Good," Ben said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the key Richland had turned over to him less than an hour before. "It's a pretty nice afternoon. Would you like to take a walk over to our house?"

A grin broke out on her face. "That sounds like a fine idea, Mr. Maverick."

The walk was a leisurely one, but it didn't take the couple long to arrive at their destination. "I can't believe it's ours," Abby said as they mounted the porch.

Ben chuckled. "Well, half of it's ours. I'm afraid Mr. Richland still owns the other half."

Abby laughed. "It's certainly nice of him to let us use his half too."

"He was only too happy to do it."

Abby stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "You'll have the deed before you know it," she told him knowing how taking out the loan had grated on her husband.

Ben leaned down to return the kiss. "Of course we will."

When Ben pulled away he stopped to stare at his wife for a moment. It was something he had to do every once in a while now, ever since he finally admitted to himself that he did love her. He'd almost let her slip away, but she'd given him another chance, and now here they were. He really was a lucky man.

"What?" Abby asked after a minute of silence.

"Just thinkin' about how lucky I am. Ready to go in?"

Abby nodded, a slight flush on her cheeks.

Ben opened the door and made a sudden decision. Before Abby had a chance to move he turned and picked her up.

"What are you doing?" she cried, surprised at being swept off her feet.

"Abigail, I haven't done a lot of things exactly right up till now, but this is one thing I'm gonna do proper. I'm gonna carry my wife across the threshold."

Abby couldn't stop a smile. "Very well, Mr. Maverick."

Ben returned the smile and stepped through the door, his bride in his arms. Once inside he pushed the door shut with his foot and carried Abby into the sitting room before he finally put her down. When she was back on her feet, Ben kissed her again, slowly and tenderly. "Welcome home, Mrs. Maverick."


	12. Time for a Birthday?

The summer seemed to pass in a blur. The Mavericks not only had to get settled into their new home and their life as husband and wife, but they had to prepare for their newest addition too. Beauregard and Belle helped when and where they could, but realistically they could only do so much. Some things Ben and Abby had to do themselves, and as Abby's middle continued to expand, Ben and Abby became Ben. It was during the times Ben found himself working alone that doubts would begin to creep in, doubts he didn't understand.

Ben had thought most of his insincerities had been laid to rest when he had finally talked things through with Abby, but the closer October got, the less sure Ben became. He did want to be with Abby, he was sure of that. He'd gotten a taste of having Abby gone, and he hadn't liked it, not to mention he already put too much on the line to turn back now. First marriage and then a house, and he wouldn't abandon Abby. He hadn't been able to do that before, he certainly couldn't do it now. After running these thoughts through his head for at least two weeks he finally came to the conclusion it was only nerves. It had to be nerves. He'd seen enough of his nephew to know the baby would change everything. So even if he did want this, it was only natural to have some apprehension. That rationale did little to alleviate those nerves as the birth of his child crept closer.

Abby herself did well through the summer, but the change in the seasons brought changes for her as well. By the middle of September, things had started to get difficult for her again. She always seemed to have some kind of ache somewhere in her body; her feet and legs began to swell, and occasionally the nausea that had never quite left her would come back. Belle began spending most of her time at the house stating she was more qualified to help than Ben, and Ben didn't argue. He'd quickly learned the best thing he could do was stay out of the way, and do whatever his wife or his sister-in-law asked him to.

Personally, Ben wasn't surprised by Abby's discomfort. She's felt sick for months now, and how could her body not ache as large as she had gotten. By the time October began he was sure her middle couldn't possibly expand anymore, and yet it did seem to continue to grow. He mentioned that particular observation to Beau one night as they rode into town and his words earned him an unexpected punch in the arm.

"What was that for?"

"Tell me you haven't said anythin' like that to Abigail." Beau was wearing one of the few panicked looks Ben had ever seen on his brother.

"No."

Beau sighed. "Good. Don't. Ever."

"About her size?"

"Yes."

Ben sort of shrugged. "It's not personal. She's gonna have a baby, I guess she got a right to get a little bigger."

"Ben."

The seriousness in Beau's voice made Ben stop his horse and face his brother. "What?"

"I've noticed that lately, you've learned to stand back and keep your mouth shut. It's a smart move and Belle, and Abby too I'm sure, appreciate it. I'd like to give you another piece of advice, and I'm not talkin' to you as your brother, but a man who has survived livin' with an expectant mother. In the interest of you maintainin' that shiny image they both have of you, don't ever say that or anythin' like that to either one of them."

"It's just . . . . "

"Bentley. Don't. Ever. Trust me."

"Okay."

"Ben."

"Beau, I believe you. Can we just go to town? Please." The last couple of weeks, Ben's livelihood had become his salvation too. Yes, he loved Abby but the closer her time got the more his nerves reared their head, and anytime he could get out and focus on something besides what was going on at home was welcome.

"All right," Beau agreed. "Just remember what I said. You'll be a much happier man that way."

"Fine." Ben urged his horse forward again. He still didn't quite understand the conversation he'd just had, but he was willing to bow to his brother's expertise in this matter. Despite his flaws and his moodiness, Beau didn't often steer him wrong.

Beau was soon up beside him again. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"How are you feelin'?"

Ben sighed. "Ready for this to be over. This has been the longest year of my life, Beau. If it ain't been one thing it's been somethin' else, and now Abby's miserable all the time and there's nothin' I can do to help her."

"Believe it or not, I do understand. It'll be over soon."

Ben nodded. "I'm not sure I can survive until then."

Beau clapped his younger brother on the shoulder. "You'll survive."

"With or without my sanity?"

Beau chuckled. "You know what you need? A good poker game. Let's go."

Beau urged his horse into a trot, and Ben followed with a smile. No, Beau didn't often steer him wrong.

XXXXXXX

It was just after dawn when Ben and Beau returned to Ben's place the next morning. Belle was already cooking when they entered the house. She had been an almost content presence in the house for the past week, and two days ago had decided to stay until the time for the baby to be born. Even with the houses being so close, staying in one place was easier than going from one house to the other, especially with Bret.

Beau inhaled deeply as he stepped into the kitchen. "Smells divine, my dear."

"It'll be ready in just a minute."

Beau kissed his wife on the cheek. "You're too good to me, woman."

"Just because I take care of my reprobate husband and his brother?" she asked sweetly. "Someone has to. The two of you would just about starve on your own."

"You won't get any argument from me," Beau replied.

"Me either," Ben added sitting down at the table. "How's Abby feelin' this mornin'?" He wasn't surprised she wasn't around. She'd barely been out of bed the last couple of days.

"Miserable I'm afraid. She didn't sleep much last night. Actually, no one did."

"Trouble?" Beau asked.

Belle shook her head. "Not exactly. Poor Abby's just too uncomfortable to sleep, and I didn't sleep because Bret didn't sleep. I think he has another tooth coming in. Either that or he's just like his daddy and thinks he needs to be up all night." The last part was said with a slight smile and a pointed look at Beauregard. The man grinned in response. "He's finally quieted down. I hoping he'll sleep for a while."

"Any ideas on what to do for Abby?" Ben asked.

"I'm afraid not. I think there's only one thing that's going to help her, and no one can do anything about that."

Ben grimaced. "How much longer do you think she has?"

"I really don't know. I'm a little surprised it hasn't happened already. It has to be soon."

Ben hoped so. The anticipation was about to get to all of them.

After breakfast, the Mavericks decided to try and get some sleep, even Belle, although it did take some convincing from Beauregard to get her to agree to it. She insisted she needed to be around in case Abby needed anything, and the Maverick men were just as insistent that she needed to get some sleep. It was hard to tell who was more stubborn, Isabelle or the Brothers Maverick, but in the end, Belle did agree. Ben was sure the fact Bret had finally fallen asleep had something to do with Belle conceding to the arrangement, but not before she gave Bret directions on what to do if she was needed.

"You'll be sure to come and get me if you need me?" she asked after giving Ben her instructions.

Ben was nodding before Belle was finished speaking. The question had been asked at least five times in the last ten minutes. "Yes. If anything changes you'll be the first to know."

"But you won't be any good for her if you don't get some sleep yourself," Beau told her as he steered her towards the bedroom, doubtless to get her away from Ben before she could reiterate her instructions again.

Ben bit back a smile as he watched them go. He couldn't hear the words but it appeared they both had plenty to say. He still had a hard time wrapping his mind around the way Beau had changed over the last few years. Sighing deeply Ben went to check on his own wife.

Ben was pleased to see Abby was sleeping when he entered the room and, not wanting to disturb her, began undressing as quietly as he could. He was slipping his shirt off when he heard Abby's voice.

"You don't have to be quiet."

He turned and found his wife watching him. "I was hoping you were asleep," he told her with a wan smile.

"I'm afraid not."

"Anything I can do?"

"No. The only thing that's going to help is this little one deciding to make his appearance."

Ben finished undressing and then eased onto the bed, doing his best not to jostle Abby. Once he was beside her, Ben began rubbing Abby's back. The action was soon met with a low groan and Ben immediately stilled. "Would you rather I didn't?"

"No, it feels good. It's the young Maverick making things difficult."

"I think it might be a family trait."

"I know stubbornness is," Abby said with a smile. "I was sure we'd have a birthday to celebrate on October twelfth."

"Maybe the thirteenth," Ben remarked.

"I hope so. I'm ready to see my baby."

Ben stopped rubbing Abby's back and lay down next to her. He scooted close to her and started to gently rub her belly. "Me too," he said kissing her head.

XXXXXXX

Ben awoke some time later for a reason he couldn't identify. For a moment he lay in bed and tried to sort out what it was that had woken him. It wasn't until he heard a soft moan that things started to make sense. Glancing over at Abby he saw her sitting up, her eyes closed.

Ben sat up, now wide awake. "Abby?"

Abby opened her eyes and gave him a small smile. "What were you saying before about the thirteenth?"

"Is it? I mean do you think it's time?"

"I don't . . . ." Abby stopped, another low moan left her as both hands went to her belly. After a long moment, she blew out a breath and looked to Ben. Her smile was back and bigger this time. "Yes. I wasn't sure before, but yes. Would you get Belle?"

Ben jumped out of the bed and threw on his clothes as fast as he could. He dashed down the hall to the room his sister-in-law was in and started banging on the door. "Belle. Beau."

A disheveled Beau opened the door. "You wake my son up, and my wife will never forgive you."

Ben grimaced, he'd forgotten about Bret. "Sorry, but it's Abby. She thinks it's time."

Before Beau could answer Belle called out from inside. "I'll be right there."

Ben hurried back to his room and was surprised to find Abby exactly where he'd left her. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm fine." She held out her hand and Ben sat with her until Belle came in.

"So he's decided to cooperate, has he," Belle said her smile almost as big as Abby's.

"Not a day too soon," Abby replied.

"How long?"

"I wasn't sure at first, but two or three hours maybe. They're still not strong or very close together."

"What time is it?" Ben asked

The answer came from Belle. "Almost noon."

Ben started figuring up how long it had been since Abby's pains started and grimaced when he realized no one had gotten much sleep, especially Abby.

His thoughts were interrupted when Belle turned to him. "You can go on downstairs with Beau."

"What?"

"This isn't any place for a man so just go on downstairs and I'll let you know if we need anything."

Ben started to protest but one look at Belle's face told him it was an argument he had no chance of winning. "You're all right?" he asked Abby one last time.

She smiled. "I'm fine. Belle's right; there's nothing you can do here."

"You're just going downstairs, Ben," Belle told him. "And you might want to tell Beau he'll probably need to ride for Doctor Jennings soon."

Abby squeezed his hand. "Go on, Ben. Next time you're in here, you'll be a daddy."

Ben looked between the two women. Knowing he was beaten Ben gave Abby a kiss and went downstairs to wait.


	13. Not Quite According to Plan

The wait turned out to be much longer than Ben had anticipated. It was nearly three hours after Belle had thrown him out of the bedroom before she came down and asked Beau to fetch Doctor Jennings. It had taken close to another hour before Doc arrived. Ben had assumed the doctor's presence meant Abby was close to delivering the baby, but he soon learned his assumption was dead wrong. The young Maverick seemed to be in no hurry to meet the rest of the family.

The hours ticked slowly by without any news coming down about Abby or the baby. The men survived the long hours on a steady diet of coffee and cigars, and eventually, Beau brought out a deck to keep Ben's mind and hands busy. Ben's head wasn't really on cards, but trying to play did help to keep his mind off what was going on upstairs. He didn't realize how well the distraction had worked until the clock began to strike midnight.

"Looks like I was wrong," Ben mumbled when the clock stopped chiming.

"What was that?" Beau questioned.

"About the birthday," Ben said. "I was sure it'd be the thirteenth. Looks like I was wrong."

"I'd start hoping for the fourteenth if I was you."

Ben was about to reply when he heard someone coming downstairs. Ben was surprised to see Belle and studied his sister-in-law, looking for any clue that she had come to tell him about his son or daughter. He quickly decided that if Belle was delivering news about a new baby she didn't look very happy about it.

"I came to see about Bret," she explained when she noticed his intense look.

"What's goin' on?" Ben asked as Belle took a somewhat fussy Bret from his father.

"Nothing much has changed, I'm afraid."

"Is she doin' all right?"

Belle gave him a wan smile. "She's delivering a baby, Ben. I think saying she's all right is relative, but there's nothing going on you need to be concerned about. She's not going through anything every other mother in the world hasn't gone through."

"It's been a while."

Belle sighed tiredly. "Yes, it has. Things aren't progressing as quickly as Dr. Jennings or Abby would like them to, but it's not unheard of. First babies can, and usually do, take a while."

She left the room with Bret, and Ben sat back down with a sigh. "Do you think everything's all right?" he asked his brother.

Beau had dropped his head back against his chair and his eyes were closed. "She just said they were," he mumbled in reply.

"She looked tired."

Beau opened his eyes and looked at Ben. "She probably is tired. I'm tired. I'm sure Doc and Abby are tired too. They've been at this over twelve hours now."

Ben flopped back in his chair, mimicking Beau's slouched posture. "Was it like this when Bret was born?"

Beau didn't answer right away. When the silence stretched on Ben straightened again. "Beau," he said wondering if his brother had heard him. "Was it like this when Bret was born?"

Beau also heaved himself upright. "I really don't know," he answered with a sheepish smile. "I wasn't there when Bret was born."

"Where were you?" Ben's curiosity was piqued not only by the statement but the smile. Very rarely did Beau have the decency to look ashamed about something.

"In town." He shrugged. "It was night and I went to play poker like always."

"Your wife was havin' a baby, and you were playin' poker?" Beau took his poker seriously, but that seemed a little much, even for Beauregard.

Beau offered another shrug. "How was it gonna help her for me to have stayed? She didn't ask me to stay, and she didn't seem upset when I left."

Ben scoffed. Somehow he couldn't see going upstairs and telling Abby he was going into town for poker and the outcome being anything good. At the same time, he could see Belle letting Beau go without a complaint. "You got to be the only man alive who could get away with that," he said a touch of admiration in his voice.

Beau grinned. "It worked for us."

Ben sat back with a sigh, his amusement at Beau's antics quickly fading. "You think this is gonna end anytime soon?"

"Don't know," Beau said stifling a yawn. "At least you know he's gonna be a proper Maverick, stubborn as he's actin' already."

XXXXXXX

A while later Belle brought Bret back to the men and returned upstairs, and the wait continued. Beau got the poker started again but it was even harder for Ben to concentrate on the cards than it had been before. The distraction became worse as the occasional, muffled cries of pain began to drift down the stairs. At first, the cries had frozen both men, but as time passed and they became more common the reactions lessened. Beau got so he hardly blinked at the sound, but Ben continued to wince every time he heard one.

By dawn, the newest Maverick had still not made an appearance. The cards had been forgotten some time ago, and even the coffee and cigars had lost their calming effect. Both men were worn out, physically and mentally, and Ben was more anxious than ever. Beau no longer seemed capable of distracting Ben, and Ben had taken up pacing the room again. He had never dreamed this would be such a nerve-wracking and drawn out experience, and he honestly wasn't sure how much longer he could hold up.

"It's gettin' quieter up there," Ben said glancing at his brother. Beauregard was slouched down in his chair, a sleeping Bret cradled in one arm. Bret was the only one who had gotten any real sleep, and Ben felt a little envious of his nephew. The couple of hours he'd gotten in before Abby had woken him yesterday hadn't been nearly enough.

"Should it be gettin' quieter?" They hadn't heard nearly as many yells from Abby over the last hour. Ben wasn't complaining that Abby's yells had lessened; the sound of Abby in such pain had torn at his heart and left him feeling helpless, but something about the silence didn't feel right.

Beau wearily rubbed his eyes. "I don't know, Ben."

"Should it be takin' this long?"

"I told you before, Little Brother, I don't know that either. I know Belle didn't go this long, but there ain't no rules for it."

Ben groaned. Why couldn't this end already? It didn't matter if there was a son or a daughter in his future just as long as they came soon.

Without warning, a shriek came from his and Abby's bedroom, and Ben whirled around to face the stairs. Yells he'd heard, yells he could deal with, but that was the first time he'd heard a scream like that. He took a step toward the stairs and was stopped by Beau's voice.

"Ben, they don't need you up there."

Ben turned to face his brother. "Did you hear that?" He'd never heard anything so full of agony and desperation.

"I heard it. You know what goin' on; she's got every right to yell if she wants to. Besides if you went up there what would you do? Like Belle said, that ain't no place for a man."

"Doc's a man," Ben mumbled. knowing it was a lame argument.

"Doc's a doctor."

Another scream met his ears causing Ben to tense up. These weren't like the cries he'd been hearing all night; these were different. These were painful to hear.

"Hey, remember the night we helped Pa deliver that foal?" Beau asked.

Ben took a deep breath and looked at his brother. There was understanding in Beau's eyes, but there was a twinkle in them too, it was the twinkle that finally got a weak smile out of Ben. "We?"

Both brothers knew good and well there had been no 'we' involved that night. Beau had helped their pa deliver the foal. Ben had spent most of the night standing in the corner of the stall horrified, mostly useless and at one point physically ill.

"Therein lies my point. Sit back down. She's in good hands."

Ben slumped back down in his seat. Beau was right. Up there he would be anything but helpful if they even let him in the room, which he doubted anyone would.

Another yell was heard, eliciting another wince from Ben. He blew out a breath and propped his elbows on his knees sending up a silent prayer that this would end soon. He couldn't stand to hear Abby yell like that for long. And how much longer could she deal with pain that intense?

He felt a hand on his shoulder and knew Beau was now beside him. Undoubtedly, the elder Maverick knew what the younger was thinking. Ben wasn't sure if Beau meant to offer support or keep him in his seat, but he was managing to do both. A minute later another scream was heard, one filled with so much desperation it sent a chill down Ben's back.

"Easy, boy," Beau muttered feeling the shudder go through Ben.

Ben breathed deeply again. Beau was telling him to stay put, common sense telling him to stay put; despite both of those, however, Ben knew if his wife screamed like that one more time he wasn't going to be able to sit still.

He sat tensed up, waiting for another yell; a yell that never came. Several minutes passed with almost no sound at all. Ben got a sinking feeling; for some reason, the silence was far worse than the yells. He then realized Beau's hand was no longer on his shoulder. Looking up he saw Beau, brows furrowed intently watching at the stairs. That did nothing to relieve Ben's fears.

"Beau," Ben said getting to his feet. "Somethin' . . . this don't feel right. What if somethin's wrong?"

"Then they sure don't need you up there."

Beau was right, but Ben couldn't stand being in the dark any longer. He started towards the stairs.  
"Bentley!"

"Beauregard," Ben snapped turning on his brother. "That's my wife."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know," Ben cried close to desperate.

"Ben, they don't need you in the way."

The wail of an infant unexpectedly joined the discussion. Both Mavericks whirled around to face the stairs. The crying continued a minute longer before fading. "Is it over?" Ben asked in a hushed voice.

"Sounds like," Beau answered with a half-smile. "Congratulations."

It was over. Abby had delivered a baby, their child, his child. Ben Maverick was a daddy. Suddenly overwhelmed, Ben almost collapsed onto the nearest chair and dropped his head into his hands.

After a minute Ben felt a tap on his shoulder. "Ya all right?"

"Mmm-hmm," Ben grunted. He was fine, he was just . . . actually Ben wasn't sure what he was at the moment, but he would be fine.

He felt another tap on his shoulder. "Then you might want to get up for this."

Ben looked up and saw Belle coming down the stairs holding a bundle Ben assumed was his baby. She was smiling, her eyes shining with tears.

"You have a son, Ben. He's . . . he's beautiful and perfect."

Ben smiled briefly before his wife was at the forefront of his mind again. "Abby? She's all right?"

Belle cradled the baby closer. "Abby . . . had a hard time. "

"Somethin' wrong?" Beau asked.

Belle didn't answer right away but she and Beau shared a look. "What?" Ben demanded getting the ominous feeling there was something he wasn't being told.

"There were some complications."

"Complications? What does that mean?"

"He was turned wrong," Belle finally said. "And there was a lot of bleeding. Doc's had a hard time getting it to stop completely."

"But she-she's all right. Isn't she?"

"She's very weak right now. Doc will explain everything when he's done."

Ben's head started to spin. What was going on? Belle had given him a response to everything, but she hadn't answered his question. If Abby were all right she would have told him. "What's wrong?"

"Once the bleeding stops, Doc's expecting everything to be fine."

Ben looked between his brother and sister-in-law. "W-what-what do you mean Doc's expecting?"

"I think she meant exactly what she said, Ben," Beau said tersely.

Belle sighed. "It was hard for her, Ben. It took a long while, even for a first baby. She's exhausted and the bleeding is concerning, but as soon she's settled Doc will come down and explain things better. He's hoping a few days of rest are all she'll need. "

Ben didn't like what he was hearing. Doc was expecting, hoping. Ben knew what Belle was trying not to say; there was a chance Abby wasn't going to be fine. He'd heard women could die in childbirth, but not once had he imagined Abby would have problems, that this might kill her.

"How's he?" Beau suddenly asked.

Ben focused on his brother and sister-in-law again and realized Beau was asking about the baby.

Belle smiled. "He's perfect; healthy and strong. He did just fine as soon as he decided to come out and meet us. Do you want to see him, Ben?"

Ben looked to Belle. She was holding his son and watching him expectantly. His eyes dropped to the baby. Abby could be dying now, dying because of that "perfect" baby. Ben could lose the woman he loved because of a child neither one of them had wanted. He could lose Abby and be stuck with a baby.

"Ben?" she asked again.

Ben shook his head. "No," he told her. At this moment he didn't feel any pride, any happiness about the baby. He only saw a baby that might very well have killed his wife. "No, I don't." Without another word he turned and walked out of the house.


	14. Don't Leave

Ben didn't get very far after walking out, only to the front porch. He was too unsteady to try and get any further. He tried to take a few deep, calming breaths but discovered that wasn't going to help all that much. his next action was to pull a cigar out from his inside pocket in the hopes that would help settle him some. It was when he tried to light the thing the tremors in his hands became known, and Ben irritably curled his hands into fists to hide the shaking.

Feeling like his legs wouldn't hold him up any longer, Ben fell into one of the rockers on the porch and was about half-done with his cigar when his brother joined him.

Without a word Beau sat down in the rocker beside his brother. It was a long minute before Beau finally spoke. "You all right?"

"Nope." Another long pause then, "I wasn't expectin' this."

"Nobody did. Doc knows what he's doin', though."

Up until today, Ben would have believed that without any trouble. It was a little different now that it was his wife's health in question. The patient didn't change Doc's knowledge, just Ben's faith in it. It was probably ridiculous, but Ben couldn't help thinking that way.

A heavy sigh came from the younger Maverick. "How's Belle," he asked. He'd seen the look of shock that had crossed her face right before he'd walked out and he was now feeling a little guilty about it.

Beau was in the process of lighting a cigar of his own and shrugged in reply. "Upset," he said after the stogie was lit. "She wasn't expectin' you to walk out like that."

Ben really hadn't expected it either. He didn't remember making a conscious decision to walk out, it had just happened. He'd needed some time think about the news he'd just received, and he hadn't felt like he could do that inside with Beau and Belle and the baby. He wasn't sure what to say so he settled for "I'm sorry I upset her."

"I told her you needed a minute."

"Thanks."

"You ready to go back in?"

"Doc down yet?"

"I doubt it. I'm sure he'd have told us if he was, but you still ain't met your boy."

Ben jumped up. "I'd rather not," he said tensely, gripping the porch railings.

Another drawn out silence came, broken at long last by Beau's sigh. "The baby wasn't planned was he, Ben?"

Ben stared out into the yard, his jaw tight. What did Beau want him to say? He was sure Beau already knew the answer. It wasn't very hard to come to that conclusion. "Are things like this ever planned?" he said trying to keep his tone light. "Was Bret?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"No, I don't," Ben replied hotly somehow managing to grip the rail in front of him tighter.

"All right, if you wanna play dumb allow me to spell it out for you. That baby wasn't the result of your marriage he was the cause of it. Wasn't he?"

Surprisingly, Beau didn't sound as judgmental as Ben had expected him to. Maybe that would come later but right now Beau was just his brother, the man Ben had always turned to when he needed help. Ben faced his brother again. "What if he was?"

"This isn't his fault, Ben."

Ben decided to ignore that for now. "I didn't want this, Beau. Any of it. But I do love that woman. I don't want to lose her."

"Gettin' a little ahead of yourself ain't you? Nobody's said you was goin' to."

Groaning, Ben flopped back down into the rocker. "No, but somebody did say Doc was hopin' she would be okay."

Beau scoffed. "You know Doc's got somethin' against givin' folks good news. He always plays his cards close to his chest. Look, Ben, I haven't known that woman of yours long, but I don't think she's the kind to quit. She can't be if she's willin' to put up with you. She must be pretty tough too, so don't assume the worst until you can talk to Doc."

Ben warily closed his eyes. Maybe Beau had a point and he was getting ahead of himself. It had been a long night, and the long night had been the end of six long, stressful months. He probably should talk to the doctor before jumping to conclusions. "Maybe you're right," he conceded.

Beau slapped his arm. "I am. Now come on, you got yourself a mighty fine looking boy in there. Why don't you go see him?"

Ben thought about that a minute before he shook his head. "No. I meant that part; I don't want to see him."

"Bentley . . . "

"No," Ben repeated firmly. "Not until I can see Doc."

Ben focused all his attention back on the yard. He knew Beau wouldn't be happy with his answer so he was expecting the sound of the door slamming just a second later. He released a ragged breath; he didn't care if his brother liked it or not. He had no interest in that child if he lost Abby because of him.

XXXXXXX

It was nearly an hour later that Beau came out to tell him Doc had come down. Ben pushed himself to his feet and went inside ignoring the subtle glare Beau sent his way. He wasn't going to let Beau bully him into anything this time. If Ben wanted to see the baby he would, but he wasn't going to do it just because he was coerced into it by his brother.

Doc was in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee and offered Ben a half smile when the Mavericks joined him. "Sit down, Ben," the older man said.

Ben sat and Beau gave him a cup of coffee too, before pouring one for himself and leaning against the wall. Doc took the seat opposite Ben and seemed to be thinking about what he needed to say. Ben looked between the doctor and his brother before he let his eyes settle on the medical man.

"How is she?" he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. He could tell he wasn't going to like what Doc had to say.

Doc took a deep breath. "I wish I could tell you everything's fine, Ben, but the truth is she's not in a good place right now."

Ben started to feel sick. "What's wrong?" he forced out.

Doc sighed and leaned back in his chair. "There's not a simple answer to that. He was turned wrong, for one thing. That's not always bad, but it does always make it a little harder. It also took a long time. Between the two, and her small size, she's exhausted. Givin' birth is hard work under the best of circumstances; these weren't the best."

"Is that all?"

"Unfortunately, no. Like I said, she's worn out, but some rest would fix that. There was a lot of bleeding, though, more than I'm comfortable with. It's under control for now, but to be frank, if it were to start up again, I don't know that it could be stopped. The most concerning thing right now, however, is the fever."

"Fever? Why does she have a fever?"

"I don't know. That's part of the problem."

"Part of the problem. What is that supposed to mean?" Ben could hear the edge in his voice, but he was getting impatient and wanted to know what was wrong.

"Let the man talk, Ben," Beau said softly.

"It's all right, Beau," Doc said. His next comment was directed at Ben. "I told you it wasn't a simple answer. With some bedrest, I think the first two issues would resolve themselves without too much of a problem, but that's why I'm concerned about the fever. As hard as this has been for her I'm not very surprised this has happened, but as worn out as she is, I'm not sure she can easily fight it off. I wouldn't be particularly concerned about any one of these by itself, but together . . . together they can be a big problem."

Ben propped his elbows on the table and tried to process everything the doctor had just told him. "So what do we do?" he asked after a moment.

"That's the hard part. There's not much we can do. We wait, pray, hope for best. I wish I could tell you more but at this point, the only thing I can say is wait and hope for the best."

Ben scoffed. He'd been hoping for something a little more helpful.

"She needs rest more than anything," Doc continued as though Ben hadn't made a sound. "And she'll need someone with her. She's sleeping right now and that's the best thing for her. If she should wake up this evening sometime, get some water in her, broth if she feels like it, but nothing heavy tonight." He paused and regarded Ben with a sympathetic look. "Any more questions?"

Ben silently shook his head then changed his mind. "Yeah, can I see her?"

"Of course, like I said, she'll need someone with her and it would probably do her good to see her husband."

"Now?"

Doc nodded. "Go ahead. Beauregard and Belle can hear anything else I have to say."

"Thanks, Doc." Ben got to his feet and found his legs still felt unsteady. He took a moment to brace himself against the table.

"Ben," Doc said.

Ben focused on the doctor again.

"Women have been having babies for thousands of years, and the majority of them come through it just fine. There's more than enough physical evidence of that. It's an amazing feat in itself, and if I've learned anything in the years I've been practicing medicine it's this, women are a lot stronger than most of us give them credit for. I don't think your wife is an exception. It wasn't easy on her, that's for sure, but don't give up on her yet."

Ben nodded mutely before starting upstairs. When he got to the master bedroom, he found the room darkened. The drapes had been drawn to keep out the late morning sun and only two lamps were lit; one by the bed and another on the bureau. Belle sat by the bed, a child in each arm. She looked up and smiled when she saw him.

Ben approached the bed. "How is she?" he asked trying not to pay attention to the smallest child his sister-in-law held.

"Sleeping. It's what she needs." She told him rising from her seat with grace Ben found hard to believe given that her arms were full of small Mavericks. "Sit down."

Ben took her place at Abby's bedside and saw his wife for the first time in almost twenty-four hours. She was pale, dark circles were around her eyes, and a fine sheen of perspiration covered her forehead. She looked small and vulnerable and Ben had to swallow the lump that unexpectedly rose in his throat. "She looks . . . . "

"I know," Belle said softly. "But she's worked hard today. I'm sure she'll be a lot better tomorrow."

Ben smiled slightly. He appreciated what Belle was trying to do, but he wasn't sure he believed her.

"Ben?"

He looked at Belle.

"Would you like to see him now?"

Ben's eyes went to the bundle cradled in Belle's left arm. He wished he could explain things to her, but he didn't think she would ever understand his thoughts on the matter. "No," he said at last.

"Ben, he's . . . . "

"Belle." He met her eyes when she stopped speaking. "Not now. Please."

Belle nodded and forced a small smile. "All right." She then quietly exited leaving him alone with his wife. Once it was just him and Abby, Ben reached out and took her hand, holding it in both of his. It was small, soft, delicate, and too warm. He brought it to his lips and kissed it gently. "Stay with me, Abby," he pleaded. "Don't lea . . . ." The words were cut off by a sob. Ben managed to compose himself but not before two or three tears dropped from his eyes and ran down his cheeks. He kissed Abby's hand again. "Please, don't leave me."


	15. Is This the End?

The rest of the day was a torment for Ben. He sat by the bed for hours, keeping watch over Abby, and hoping there would be some kind of positive change. There didn't seem to be any change, however, good or bad. She didn't so much as stir for most of the day. Beau or Belle came in a few times to bring something for either him or Abby or to try to relieve him, but he wouldn't leave Abby and he didn't have much of an appetite for the food Belle brought. Neither his brother nor his sister-in-law said a word about the baby and Ben didn't bother to ask.

As night fell Ben managed to get a little sleep here and there but mostly he sat by the bed and worried. He was trying to hope for the best, but the longer he sat there the harder staying positive became. He couldn't help but think how miserable he had been when Abby had left him, and how happy he'd been the last couple of months. Anxious and stressed but happy. He'd been looking forward to the future he had with Abby. What would he do if Abby didn't pull through this? He'd settled down for her, bought land and a house, and been ready to change everything. Without Abby what was the point in any of it? And what would he do about the baby? Ben couldn't imagine trying to take care of a child and be a father without Abby to help him.

Ben propped his elbows on his knees and dropped his head in his hands. He couldn't do it alone. He didn't want to do it alone.

A noise from the bed caused Ben to jerk his head up and he found Abby stirring. He leaned closer. "Abby?"

Abby slowly opened her eyes. They looked fevered when she turned toward him but she gave him a weak smile.

Ben gently wiped her face then took her hand. "How do you feel, sweetheart?"

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Have you . . . seen him?"

Ben realized what she meant. He looked down. "Belle has him," he said choosing to ignore her second question.

"Is he . . . alright?"

"He's fine. Don't try to talk anymore. Just get some more rest." She needed to be focusing on getting better, not worrying about a baby.

Abby's eyes drifted shut again. "He's beautiful," she mumbled tiredly.

"Shhh, go back to sleep, darlin'." Ben wasn't sure if his wife ever heard the directions or not. She was soon back asleep and didn't wake again for the rest of the night.

The next morning Doctor Jennings was back. Ben couldn't tell that there was much change in Abby's condition one way or the other, and was anxious to see what the doctor had to say. He told Jennings about Abby briefly waking the night before, but the doctor only nodded solemnly at the news.

"Is that good?" Ben asked. He'd been hoping for more of a reaction that that.

"It's not bad," Doc replied as rolled his sleeves up. "I'll know more in a little while. Now go ahead and get out of here."

"I'd rather stay."

Doc looked him straight in the eye. "And I'd rather you didn't. Belle can help me with anything I need, and gettin' out for a while will do you good. Go down and get some coffee, maybe something to eat. I'll be done before you know it."

Between Doc and Belle Ben knew he didn't stand a chance, just like the morning Abby's labor had started. Once again he was left with no choice but to trust his wife to the doctor and his sister-in-law. Since he couldn't stay, Ben decided to take Doc's advice and get some coffee. He still wasn't sure about food, but coffee he could handle.

When he got to the kitchen he found Beau at the table, Bret sitting in his lap. His brother was attempting to feed Bret something that looked kind of like porridge, and it seemed Bret wasn't too sure about it. Beau glanced up when Ben entered.

"How is she this mornin'?"

Ben shrugged as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Not a lot of change as far as I can see. Doc threw me out."

"He tends to do that," Beauregard said, his attention going back to his son.

Ben sat down and watched his brother attempt to feed the mush to his disinterested son. At the moment Bret seemed to find his fingers much more appealing than what his father was trying to give him. Beau's next attempt resulted in Bret's hand hitting Beau's and the spoonful of mush landing on Beau's trousers.

"Did ya have to do that, son?" Beau grumbled as he cleaned off his pants. Bret's reply was to go back to sucking on his hand.

Despite the gloom hanging over him, Ben had to smile. A year ago Ben would never have believed he would see Beauregard Maverick so completely domesticated.

As he continued to watch the father and son, Ben found his thoughts wandering to his own child, and frankly, he couldn't fathom doing what Beau was doing now. But it wasn't so much about willingness as ability. There was an easiness about Beau's movements Ben couldn't ever imagine having when it came to interacting with a child. Beau actually looked just as at ease taking care of Bret now and he did dealing cards for a poker game. Ben couldn't image being able to do that.

The truth was Ben wasn't suited to taking care of other people. Maybe some would call him selfish, and up to a point Ben would agree, but again, it was more a question of skill than a lack of desire. He just wasn't any good at it. He'd do anything for Beau of course, or any of the Mavericks, but looking out for others didn't come naturally. He supposed that was due in part to him being the baby of the family and always having everyone else look out for him, especially Beau. Maybe that explained why Beau seemed to take to looking after his son so easily.

"He's sleeping," Beau suddenly said.

Ben looked up, startled. "Huh?"

"The baby's asleep. Belle laid him down after he ate."

Ben wondered how Beau knew he'd been thinking of the baby. Probably just a lucky guess, or more likely an educated one. It did seem like it would be a normal thing to think about under the circumstances.

"If you want to see him," Beau added.

Ben sighed. "I don't."

"You can't ignore him forever, Ben."

Ben set his cup down, choosing not to reply to that. "I'm gonna go see if Doc's done."

The door to the bedroom was still shut when he returned upstairs so Ben leaned against the wall and waited. It was about fifteen minutes before Doc open the door. He gave a grim smile when he saw Ben and motioned him inside. "Come in, Ben."

Ben studied the doctor's face, his hopes for good news quickly fading. "What's wrong?" he asked entering the bedroom. "Is she worse?"

"Again, there's not an easy answer," Doc said. "The good news is, there hasn't been any significant bleeding in the last day. That was a big concern but everything appears to be healing like it should. The fever is up, however, more than I'd like it to be."

"That's bad," Ben cut in.

"It's not good."

"How-how bad?"

"Ben, what I'm about to tell you is in no way conclusive. The last two days have been extremely stressful for her, and I'm still hoping for the best, but you need to know there's a chance she won't come out of this."

It took a minute for the doctor's words to really sink in. "So . . . we just give up?"

"No. I'm not saying that at all. It's far from hopeless, but you do need to be aware there is that chance."

Ben felt tears burning his eyes and had to take a moment to compose himself before he dared to speak again. "What do we do?"

"The same thing we've been doing."

"That's it? Just sit here?"

Doc took a deep breath. "I know it doesn't seem like much, and I know it's frustrating, but there's not much else we can do."

For a long moment no one spoke, then Doc sighed. "I'm doing all I can, Ben."

Ben could only nod mutely. His mind was still trying to comprehend Doc had just confirmed Abby's life was in danger.

Doc gave his shoulder a pat. "I'll be back tonight to check on her. Until then . . . just do what you've been doing."

XXXXXXX

Ben did what Doc told him to do, and the day passed as the night had. The only change for Abby was she seemed more restless, and less like she was resting than she had been before. Ben didn't find the change encouraging, and the longer he sat by the bedside, the tenser he became. He couldn't understand why this was happening and briefly wondered if this was some kind of punishment for what he'd done. If that were the case, why did Abby have to suffer too? Would she die and leave him here alone with a child? It wasn't the first time Ben had run the scenario through his mind, he thought about it a lot since learning of Abby's problems, but the thought was becoming more terrifying by the second.

By the time Doc came back that evening Ben was a ball of nerves. He couldn't remember a time in the past he'd ever been wound so tight or been so worn out. He hadn't had any proper sleep in two days, and it had been about that long since he had eaten as well. He was starting to feel kind of numb all over, and he didn't even protest being sent out of the room when Doc arrived again. He didn't have that much fight in him, and it was a fight he couldn't win anyway.

Half walking, half stumbling Ben made his way downstairs. Doc and Belle had both said something about eating again, but Ben didn't even want to consider it. Despite his stomach feeling about as empty as it ever had, he had no desire for food. Anything he tried to eat probably wouldn't stay in his stomach anyway.

Ben wasn't even interested in coffee this evening and bypassed the kitchen altogether. He went straight to the front sitting room. As he entered the room the memory of carrying Abby across the threshold and bringing her to this very room came to mind, and Ben had to stop and stare for a moment. Again the thought that he just wouldn't be able to stand to lose Abby came to mind.

After a minute Ben was able to shake the memory off and flopped down in one of the rooms overstuffed chairs with a sigh.

"I guess there's no news."

Ben looked over and found Beau in a chair to his left. He hadn't noticed his brother being in the room, but he wasn't too surprised to see him. "No."

Beau sighed. He dropped the book he'd been reading in his lap and pulled out a cigar. He held one up in a silent offer but Ben wordlessly shook his head.

For a good ten minutes, the brothers sat in silence, until Beau finally pushed to his feet. "I got to get some air."

Ben watched his brother leave the room and listened to the front door shut. He then dropped his head back against the chair. He'd been expecting Beau to say something about him needing to see the baby, and was surprised not to hear it. He wondered if Beau had wanted to say something and held back. It really wasn't like Beauregard to keep his mouth shut when he had something to say, but maybe that was why he had left so abruptly. Or maybe he really had needed some air. Whatever the reason, Ben was thankful that he had finally been able to get across to his family he really didn't want to see the baby.

Another fifteen or twenty minutes passed with Ben simply sitting in his chair staring off into space, his mind running through everything that had taken place over the last two days. He was finding it harder and harder to hope things would work out, all he could think of was what he would do when Abby was gone. He couldn't help but think about the baby and the fact that all this was his fault. If Abby had never gotten pregnant, he never would have gotten married, never have come back to Little Bend, never bought this house, and most importantly, Abby wouldn't be dying. All his trouble the last several months was because of that little person Beau and Belle kept trying to get him to interact with, and he simply wasn't interested in doing that.

Ben was starting to feel an irrational hostility towards the infant when Doc unexpectedly came into the sitting room. The older man looked grim as he approached Ben.

"What's wrong?" Ben asked, his stomach tying itself in knots just over the look on Doc's face.

Doc sat down on the sofa before he answered. "The fever's up a little more. I just don't know, Ben."

If possible Ben's stomach twisted even more. He had a horrible feeling he knew exactly what the doctor was trying to say, but he needed Doc to say it plainer. "What?"

"It keeps climbing and I don't know why. It's up to Abby to see if she can fight it off."

"She . . . dying?"

Doc sighed. "She doesn't seem to be improving, and I can't tell you that she will improve. It's still possible, but I think you need to be preparing yourself for the possibility that that won't happen."

Ben was silent for a long moment. He finally cleared his throat. "How . . . how long do you think it'll be before you know?"

"I would say within a couple of days. In her exhausted state, she can't fight forever. The fever will either drop and she'll improve . . . ."

"Or not," Ben interrupted.

"Yes. I wish I had something more definite, or something more hopeful, but I believe this is the most realistic thing I can tell you."

Ben closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath before nodding. "Can I see her now?"

Doc scoffed. "As a doctor, I should tell you to get some rest and eat a decent meal, but as a husband, I'm gonna tell you yes. Spend as much time as you want to with her. As much time as you can."

Again Ben nodded as he heaved himself to his feet. Before he went back upstairs, Doc gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I'm sorry I can't do more, Ben. I'm sorry I can't give you definite, positive news. I'll be back in the morning if you don't send for me before then."

Ben nodded vaguely before he started back upstairs. When he was back in the bedroom, Ben took up his vigil by the bed once again and sent up a desperate prayer that he wasn't witnessing his wife's final hours.


	16. Just Drink on It

Once again, Ben slept in snatches and by the time the sun rose he could tell there was no improvement in Abby's condition. Doc's visit that morning was somber, and as far as Ben was concerned, unnecessary. What was the man going to tell them they didn't already know? Abby hadn't been awake since that brief moment the day before, and Ben could read men well enough to know what Doc's facial expressions meant. It didn't matter that Doc was telling him not to give up or that Belle was being so hopeful for a good outcome, Ben understood what was going on. Abby was dying. If something didn't change soon, his wife was going to die.

He was so certain of this that he mostly ignored Doc's instructions to try to get some rest, and for heaven's sake to eat the food Belle was bringing him. Ben didn't know why he should bother, Doc had said before he should spend as much time with Abby as he could, and if Abby was dying, he saw no reason to waste time eating and sleeping. There would be time enough for that after . . . well, after whatever was going to happen happened.

Doc obviously shared his instructions with Beau and Belle because soon after he left Belle came in the room with a plate of food and a cup of coffee. "Doc said to bring this up and that you are supposed to eat it."

"Thanks but I'm not hungry."

"I don't care if you're hungry or not, Doc said you needed to eat."

Sighing Ben looked up. His sister-in-law was glaring at him and Ben was reminded that this was the woman who had willingly tied herself to Beauregard Maverick. It was doubtful he was going to able to intimidate her or say anything that was going to make her back down. "Belle, really, I'm not hungry. I don't think I can eat."

Belle's look softened. "I understand, Ben, but at least try. You're not doing yourself any favors by going without, and you're not helping Abby or the baby by doing that either."

At the mention of the baby, Ben felt his defenses rising. Again he couldn't help but feel like that tiny troublemaker was to blame for all his current problems. "Cause he's done nothin' but help things, right," he mumbled darkly.

"What?"

Belle was now watching him with a mixture of shock and confusion, and maybe a little hope that he hadn't said what she thought she'd heard.

"Nothin'," Ben said having enough presence of mind to feel a tad guilty. He nodded toward the food. "I'll try it."

Belle still looked unsure but smiled weakly and passed the plate over. "It'll make you feel better."

Ben nodded. He wasn't sure about that, but he'd try just about anything if it meant everyone would leave him alone. Belle left, and he dutifully tried to eat. There was still nothing on the plate that had any taste at all, and after a few bites, he couldn't force any more down. He sat the plate aside and leaned forward in his seat. Tenderly, he wiped Abby's brow and took one of her hands. "I need you to wake up and talk to me, Ab." Abby gave no indication she'd heard anything.

Ben sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Abigail. I'm so sorry it happened like this. If I'd known, if I'd had any idea I would've . . . ."

Ben stopped wondering if he really would have done anything differently if he'd known in the beginning what he knew now. Saying he would never have slept with Abby if he'd known he was going to end up a father seemed like the smart thing to say, but he wasn't sure that was true. He'd enjoyed being Abby's lover, and since he'd become her husband, since admitting that he did love her, well, that had been better than he'd ever imagined it would. If he could do it over would he be willing to give that up? Then again, sitting here waiting for her to die was one of the most torturous things he'd ever done. Was this pain worth the pleasure of the last couple of months? Was a child worth losing his wife for?

Ben didn't have any answers but he spent the rest of the day trying to discover them. By the time Doc came back around for his evening visit, Ben was a mess. Emotionally, mentally, and physically he was nearing the end of his rope and one look at Doc's face when he came downstairs told Ben all he needed to know.

"She's not coming out of this, is she?" he asked softly.

"I'm sorry, Ben, I just don't know. The fever hasn't gotten any worse, but unfortunately, it hasn't gotten better. There's still a chance, but the longer this goes on the smaller that chance gets."

Doc continued to talk but Ben didn't hear most of it. All he could see was Abby lying there pale, her body burning with fever. All he could think about was the last year and what she'd had to go through. All he could hear were the agonized screams that had come from their bedroom as she worked to deliver a child that had started this whole mess.

"Ben?"

Ben jerked back to the present and found Doc watching him intently.

"You alright?" Doc asked, his concern plain.

Before Ben could answer he heard crying from upstairs. Ben winced at the sound, feeling his hostility toward the baby coming back. Not trusting his voice Ben answered Doc with a nod.

There was nothing but sympathy in Doc's eyes. For a moment he looked like there was something he wanted to say but in the end, he settled for patting Ben's shoulder. "I'll be back in the morning. Take care of him, Beau."

If anything else was said Ben didn't hear it. He went back upstairs and found Belle walking the floor, trying to soothe the crying baby. His irritation rising Ben sat down by his wife, and the crying continued. A couple of minutes later Beau came in. Without a word the elder Maverick crossed the room to his wife and spoke to her in a tone too low for Ben to hear what was said. Belle softly shook her head in reply. Throughout the entire exchange the infant in Belle's arms had cried, and when Beau turned to leave the cry became a wail.

Ben finally reached his breaking point. Jumping to his feet, he whirled around to face Belle. "Isn't there a way you can shut that thing up?" he growled.

A look of horror instantly came to Belle's face and Beau stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes darkening with anger. "Bentley," the elder Maverick ground out a definite warning in his voice.

"Don't start on me," Ben snapped. "He's caused nothin' but problems since he came along. He ruined my life, ruined Abby's life, and now he's killed her."

"Ben . . . ."

"No! He killed her. As sure as I'm standin' here he killed her." Ben stopped there as that truth sank in. Ben glanced Abby's way, his heart clenching when he saw her again. She was dying, and Ben could no longer stand to see it. "He's killed her, and I'm not gonna stand here and watch it happen."

Ben stormed out of the room and across the hall to the next bedroom. The single wardrobe in their bedroom hadn't been large enough for his and Abby's things and as hectic at the last several weeks had been, Ben had simply put some of his things in a spare room. Today he was glad for that. He didn't want to disturb Abby with his packing, but he would need a few things if he were leaving.

Without much thought, Ben begin yanking up clothes and shoving them into a bag. He had to get out. Now. He couldn't take one more night of sitting in that room waiting for Abby to die. She didn't know he was around anyway, and he had no desire to be anywhere near the baby that had ruined everything.

He didn't turn when he heard someone enter the room. There were only two other people in the house. The footfalls had been too hard to belong to Belle, and he knew Belle wouldn't run after him.

"So you're leavin'?"

"Yep."

"Not even gonna wait around to see if Abby pulls through?"

Ben whirled. "Do you really think she has a chance? You've heard everything Doc's said. He's not lookin' for her to come out of it."

"Ben, that's not what he said."

"He said I needed to prepare myself for the possibility. He said her chances were getting smaller. What's that sound like to you?"

Beau took a deep breath. "It sounds like what he said, preparing for the possibility doesn't mean it'll happen."

Ben's only reply was a scoff.

"What about your son?"

"I don't have a son."

"Ben . . . ."

"No! I never wanted him, the only reason I married Abby was because of him. Now he's killed her, and you want me to be happy about it."

"I'm not askin' you to be happy, but this is not his fault."

"It's all his fault."

"No." Beau grabbed his brother's arm and jerked him around. "He didn't ask to be born, you and Abby did that. Whether you like or not, Bentley, you do have a son. And what happens if Abby don't make it? You gonna leave him without a mama or a daddy because he didn't fit into your plans? You gonna punish him because you couldn't keep your pants done up?"

Ben's eyes flashed. He wasn't going to listen to Beau of all people spout off about virtue. "What gives you the right to lecture me on my pants? I know you didn't wait till Belle came along before you shucked yours."

"I never left a woman alone with a baby."

"Neither did I."

"You're just gonna leave your baby without his daddy? That ain't no better."

Ben sighed. The frantic drive he'd felt before deserted him and left him feeling drained and unable to fight anymore. "I'm not like you, Beau. I'm not a daddy; I can't be one. Not alone."

"Why don't you put the shovel away, Ben?" Beau snapped. "There's no call to put her in the ground before her time."

Feeling more worn by the minute, Ben jerked out of Beau's grip and warily sank onto the bed. "Just forget about it," he muttered. He didn't want to fight anymore, he just wanted to be let alone.

Beau took a deep breath and when he spoke again his voice had lost some of its edge. "What happens when she pulls through this and you're not here?"

"She's not going to, and we both know it. If Doc really thought that he'd have said so. He hasn't, he just keeps telling me he doesn't know."

After a minute of silence, Beau sighed. "Ben, the last couple of days have been long."

Ben snorted; that was an understatement.

"Look, you're not thinkin' too clearly right now."

"I'm thinkin' fine."

"Alright, you're thinkin' fine, but would you do me a favor?"

Beau's tone had changed again. If Ben didn't know any better he would swear his brother was up to something. "What?" he asked giving Beauregard a suspicious look.

"Don't leave tonight. Come downstairs, have a drink, and sleep on it. If you still wanna leave in the morning . . . I won't try to stop you."

Ben studied his brother. Beau didn't go back on his word, if he said he wouldn't try to stop him in the morning, he wouldn't. But there had to be something Ben was missing. It wasn't like Beau to just give up a fight. He was too tired to worry about it now, though, and a drink did sound good. He finally nodded. "I could use a drink."

Beau pulled his brother to his feet and threw an arm around his shoulders. "So could I."

After being guided into the kitchen, Ben warily flopped down at the table. Meanwhile, Beau managed to find a bottle of bourbon and brought it along with two glasses to the table.

"I thought you didn't drink anymore," Ben said as his brother sat and proceeded to pour two drinks.

"Special occasions only," Beau said smiling some. He pushed one of the glasses across the table. "Here."

Ben threw the drink back before pushing it back to Beau. Beau silently refilled the glass and gave it back. Again, Ben quickly drank the bourbon down. Probably too quickly truth be told. Before he realized it another full glass was in front of him and Ben started, more slowly, on that one too. He paused about halfway through and sighed. "I know you don't like it, Beau, but I can't live like this. I'm not . . . I'm not any good . . . for either one of them."

"Not true. You could have left her, and you didn't. You've settled down, been faithful to her, and I know you love her."

Ben nodded. "I do. I don't know what I'd do without her, and I really don't want to find out." He sighed. "I can't . . . I can't raise him by myself. I don't know how."

Beau chuckled. "Don't feel bad, no one else does either."

Something about that didn't sound quite right to Ben's muddled mind. "Huh?"

"About raisin 'em. You think I know what I'm doin'?"

Rolling his eyes Ben drained his drink. "It's different."

"Not much. You know the first time I saw Bret he scared me to death. It's hard and it's terrifying, but it's worth it."

Again Ben found the glass in front of him full. He started in on that one as he thought about Beau's words. Terrifying didn't start to cover this situation. Was he capable of raising a child, especially without his wife there to help? "I don't know what to do, Beau," he said plaintively after he'd finished his drink. He looked up at his brother. "What am I supposed to do?"

Beau smiled grimly. He gently pulled the now empty glass out of his brother's hand and pushed a full one over to him. "For now, you just have another drink."


	17. A Meeting of the Minds

Ben forced gritty feeling eyes open and tried to remember where he was. After several minutes his foggy brain realized he was in one of the bedrooms at the house, but he had no memory of coming up last night. He thought back and started to piece together the events of the previous night. Doc's less than encouraging news, his certainty that Abby was about to die, his outburst towards the baby, and finally going down and having a drink with Beau, several drinks with Beau actually. Ben groaned in frustration, annoyance, and just a little bit of pain. Beau had gotten him drunk, intentionally.

Ben pushed himself upright with a grunt, taking a minute to steady himself before he got to his feet. Ignoring the pressure in his head and the way the room spun slightly, Ben staggered to the door. He had a bone to pick with Beauregard and he didn't intend on wasting any time doing it, even if he was a little hungover.

The stairs gave Ben only minimal trouble as he made his way down them, and he headed straight for the kitchen, Beau's location if Ben could believe his ears. His guess was correct. Beau was putting on a pot of coffee when Ben entered the room and making far more noise than the younger Maverick thought necessary.

Beau finished what he was doing and looked his brother's way as if he had sensed his presence. "Sleep well?" he asked smiling innocently.

"What do you think you son of . . . ."

"Ahh, ahh, ahh, language, Bentley. She was your mother too."

Ben dropped into a chair. "I hate you."

Beau shrugged. "You'll forgive me eventually. I got some coffee brewin', or I could make you a prairie oyster."

Ben grimaced at the mention of the concoction Beau swore was a guaranteed hangover cure. He'd tried one once, and while he was sure it had helped, he was in no hurry for another one. "It ain't hurtin' that bad."

"Coffee it is then." Once the brew was done, Beau poured two cupfuls and gave one to Ben.

"Was there a point to this?" Ben asked glaring through bloodshot eyes. He didn't elaborate knowing Beau would understand what was really being asked.

"You needed to sleep, and you weren't gonna do it yourself. So I helped."

Ben snorted; wincing again when he discovered that wasn't going to help his head any. "Don't need your help."

"You're welcome." Beau cleared his throat. "Doc's already stopped by this morning."

"And?" Ben hadn't given much thought to the time, but he supposed he would have slept through the doctor's visit given how much he'd had to drink last night.

"Well, he was delighted to find out you were sleeping. But I might have left out that it was alcohol induced."

Ben rolled his eyes before sobering. "Abby?"

"Fever's still there."

Ben tried not to let the disappointment get to him. Had he really thought the answer would be anything different? "Then I guess you wasted your time last night," Ben said putting his coffee down and pushing to his feet.

"Where are you goin'?"

"I'm gonna finish the packin' you wouldn't let me do last night."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not."

"You said you wouldn't try to stop me."

Beau met his brother's glare. "I said if you still wanted to leave in the morning I wouldn't try to stop you. It's past mornin'."

It took a minute for that to sink into Ben's hungover mind. "What? You can't . . . you can't make me stay here. I'm not a child."

"You been actin' like one lately."

"You're not gonna make me feel guilty."

"So that's the way it is? You're just gonna leave your wife. Your child."

"My wife's dyin'."

"And the baby?"

Ben sighed. He'd give Beau one thing, thanks to several hours of uninterrupted sleep, alcohol induced or not, a lot of his hostility towards the baby had faded. He still had no desire to stay and make a go of this alone, but he wasn't as eager to shoulder the child with all the blame for what had happened over the last year. "He'll be fine."

"Runnin' out on your family." Beau scoffed. "I thought my brother was a man."

Ben stiffened. "I'm not runnin'. Just not gonna hang around and . . . ."

"And what? Take responsibility for your actions?"

"Don't get high and mighty on me, Beauregard. You ain't no saint."

"I'm not claimin' to be. Just don't see how you can abandon your son."

"He's not . . . ."

"He is your son! You can deny it all you want, but it's not goin' to change the facts."

Ben braced his hands on the back of his chair and took a deep breath. "Wasn't what I was gonna say. I'm just not any good for him." He jerked his head towards the stairs. "You see how much good I did Abby. What do you think I could do for him? Not to mention I keep thinkin' he's the one who killed her. He don't need to live with that. It's better for everyone this way."

Beau let out a grunt of frustration. "Good Lord, Ben, stop rollin' around in your self-pity and grow up."

A humorless laugh left Ben. "You got me drunk to try to force me to stay here and I'm the one that needs to grow up?"

"I thought once you'd had some sleep you might start thinkin' a little clearer," Beau huffed.

"No, you thought I'd want to stay. I am thinkin' clearer; clear enough to know that stayin' would be a mistake." Ben pushed away from the chair and turned to leave.

"Ben."

Ben stopped when he heard Beau coming up behind him. In the interest of self-preservation, Ben spun back around surprised to see Beau stop his advance several feet away.

The anger in Beau's eyes was plain but his voice was steady as he stared his brother down. "All right, you wanna go, go. I ain't gonna try to stop you again, but let me tell you this. You walk out and you're giving up any claim you got to him. His mama dies, and me and Belle will take him in. He'll be raised a Maverick and he won't know the difference, but you won't get him back. When you get down the road a couple of years from now and realize you made a mistake, don't come back here looking for him, because if I have anything to say about it, you won't touch him."

That sounded good enough. It wasn't like Ben had planned on dumping the baby off in the woods somewhere. There were worse things he could do than leave his son with his brother. "Fine," he replied flippantly.

Something flashed in Beau's eyes, and if Ben didn't know better he'd swear he'd actually hurt his brother with his words. Feeling nervous Ben tensed up, carefully watching Beau and half-expecting a punch to come his way.

"I said I wouldn't fight you, and I won't, but I do want you to do something for me."

"Like I did last night? No, thank you."

Beau shook his head. "Not like last night. I just want you to look at him."

"Beau . . . ."

"Look at him, Ben. That's all I'm askin', just spend five minutes with your son."

"Why?"

"Because he's your son, and it's a pretty sad thing for a man to say he's never seen his son."

"If I do you'll let me go without any more interference? Of any kind."

"My word as a Maverick."

To some that might not have seemed like much, but Ben knew that coming from Beau, it didn't get any better than that. "All right."

XXXXXX

Belle was again minding two babies when the Maverick men entered the room Abby had picked out for her baby. A room she had so diligently and lovingly prepared for their new addition. Ben sighed as he took a look around. They had planned things out a lot differently during the days they'd spent in this room.

Bret was on the floor, doing his best to crawl across it, and Belle was gently rocking the baby as she watched him. She looked up when they entered, her gaze going between the two men finally stopping on Beau, a question in her eyes.

Beau scooped Bret up from the floor before explaining anything. "Isabelle, Bentley needs some time alone with his boy."

Belle stood up and seemed to grip the baby tighter. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

A jolt went through Ben as he realized what she was saying. Belle actually thought he might do something to harm the baby. "I'm not gonna hurt him," he mumbled, insulted she would even insinuate something like that, and ashamed he'd actually done anything to make her think that way.

Belle flushed as she looked his way. "I'm sorry, Ben, I know you . . . ."

"It's all right," he broke in. "I understand."

"Do you know how? To hold him, I mean."

Ben chuckled weakly as he sat down in the rocking chair Belle had vacated. "More or less."

Belle passed the baby over and helped him situate the boy in his arms. "Comfortable?"

It felt a little awkward at first, but a few minor adjustments had Ben feeling pretty confident with what he was doing. He nodded. "I'm fine."

"He has Abby's eyes, you know."

"I guess it's kinda pitiful, but I didn't know."

"You're here now, that's what matters."

The look on his sister-in-law's face told Ben she was taking his presence here to mean he'd changed his mind. He didn't have the heart to tell her she was wrong. He'd be a proper coward and let Beau handle that later. Thankfully he didn't have to worry about a reply as Beau took her and Bret out of the room then, leaving Ben alone with the baby.

Ben took a deep breath. He knew only too well what Beau was trying to do. Beau figured Ben would change his mind about leaving once he spent some time with the boy, but Ben had no intention of letting that happen. This wasn't going to change the way he felt about anything. He was more than capable of sitting here without turning into an emotional mess. He just had to keep telling himself this was the best thing for everyone. The baby could stay with someone who wanted him, and he would go back to . . . what? Being selfish and irresponsible? Ben didn't like the way that left him feeling, but after the myriad of mistakes he'd made over the past year maybe he didn't deserve to feel any happiness.

He was sitting in the silent room doing his best to remain stoic when a soft grunt turned his attention to the bundle in his arms. Looking down was nothing more than reflex, but it turned out to be Ben Maverick's fatal mistake. When he dropped his eyes he found a pair of bright blue ones staring up at him. His breath caught as he realized Belle was right, the baby's eyes were like Abby's. There was blond hair too. Despite his resolve to keep his emotions in check and remain unattached, Ben smiled.

The baby grunted again and wiggled some as he opened and closed one of his tiny hands.

Ben's smile grew and without realizing what he was doing he reached out his hand allowing his son to wrap his small fist around his daddy's finger. "That's quite a grip you got there, son," he said, the familial term slipped out without him even noticing.

Ben gently pulled his finger away and stroked the baby's cheek. "You do have your mama's eyes," he said as something started to stir inside of him. It was sort of like the first time he'd seen Abby but at the same time completely different. This was something more, something he'd never felt before. This wasn't just a baby he realized, this was part of Abby, part of the woman he had quickly come to love more than anyone else in the world. He was starting to realize this baby was part of him too. This boy was a Maverick.

Ben allowed the baby to grip his finger again, and he found himself marveling at the tiny hand. Babies weren't new to Ben, he'd been around Bret for months now, but this was different. This was his baby, part of him, and he was completely innocent of any wrongdoing. He'd certainly done nothing to deserve the animosity his father had directed toward him the last two days.

Blue eyes blinked up at Ben lazily before the baby yawned. Within a minute his eyes had drifted shut in sleep. Again Ben extracted his finger from the grip and awkwardly shifted his son around so the baby was lying against his chest. Sitting perfectly still he could feel the gentle rise and fall of the baby's chest against his own as his son slept. The sensation left him totally mesmerized.

Ben gazed down at the child in his arms. He didn't want to lose Abby, not now, not when their life together had barely started. The thought of having to say goodbye to his wife at this time was nearly unbearable, but if he really loved Abby like he said he did, how could he do anything but love the son she had given him? Love him the way he knew Abby loved him. Never at any time during the last six months had Abby done or said anything to indicate that she held any contempt for the baby or in any way regretted the choices that had led them to this point in time. Even the one time she had been aware enough to talk since giving birth she had only asked about the baby, more concerned with him than herself.

Ben felt a sob rise up, and he did nothing to stop it. Abby was the most remarkable woman he'd ever known, and he'd do just about anything to get to keep her, but he was starting to understand that running off wouldn't do any good, nor would it change anything. If Abby ended up giving her life so their son could live, it would only be a dishonor to her for Ben to abandon their child. Not that he could honestly place any blame on his son for anything that had happened. Like Beau had said, the boy hadn't asked to be born. Ben and Abby had done this, and now that he spent some time thinking about it, it was something pretty remarkable. No, he didn't want to lose to Abby, but if he had to let her go, at least he had this part of her to hold onto.

"I'm sorry, Son," he whispered holding his son as tightly as he dared. He kissed the fine, blond hair on his son's head. "I'm not goin' anywhere. I promise you, boy, Daddy's not leavin'."

A soft knock drew Ben's attention from the baby to the door and he was surprised when Beau opened the door. If his brother found it odd Ben was clinging to his son like the baby was the only thing helping him maintain his sanity or that Ben's eyes were red-rimmed and shining with tears he didn't mention it. "How you doin'?" he asked instead.

Ben smiled ruefully. "We've reached an understandin'."

"Have you?"

"Yeah. He's amazin' and I'm a jackass."

"I could have told you that."

Ben snorted a laugh. "Yeah. Anyway, it worked."

"What?"

Ben gave his brother a look. "Your little scheme to keep me here; I'm not goin' anywhere. Today or any day, even if Abby . . . well, you know." Ben took a deep breath. "I guess my five minutes are up."

Beau cocked an eyebrow. "Been close to an hour, Ben."

"An hou . . . huh."

"I came to get you because of Abby."

"Oh." Dread filled Ben. Maybe he'd made peace with his son, but he still didn't want to lose Abby, nor was he ready for goodbye.

"Yeah. The fever's dropped some and she's awake."

Ben stared at his brother, hardly daring to believe what Beau had just said, but knowing Beau wasn't cruel enough to lie about this. "She . . . she's awake."

Beau smiled. "Yes, sir. She's awake and talkin' and she wants to see you. Both of you."


	18. Beauregard

Ben wasted no time in hurrying across to Abby, his mind still holding reservations that his wife had actually improved. His doubts vanished when he finally got a look at her. She still looked tired and pale, but she had more color than she'd had the day before and her eyes were clear. She smiled weakly when she saw him and her eyes seemed to get even brighter when she saw he had the baby.

"You brought him."

"Of course I brought him." Ben sat by the bed. "How you feelin'?"

"Tired."

"You got a right to be tired."

"How is he?"

Ben smiled, glad that the question didn't make him cringe like it had when she'd asked him before. "He's fine. Belle's been takin' good care of him for us."

Abby tried to push herself up some. "I want to see him."

"Don't move around," Ben warned. "At least not until Doc comes again." The last thing he wanted was for Abby to do something to hurt herself now that she was finally improving.

"I want to see him," Abby repeated, quite forcefully given her weakened conduction.

Ben hesitated a moment before he moved to sit on the edge of the bed and hold the baby down low enough for Abby to see from her supine position.

Abby's eyes immediately filled with tears as she reached out and gently stroked his cheek. "Hello, my beautiful boy. Oh, Ben, have you ever seen anything so perfect?"

Abby's eyes were shining with absolute love and Ben had to swallow a lump in his throat before he could answer. "No," he said pleased to be able to honestly say that. Right now it was hard to remember why he'd felt such anger towards his son or how he could have ever thought he could leave either one of them.

"It was all . . . worth it."

"What?"

"Everything it took to get him. He's worth it."

Ben smiled ruefully, feeling a wave of shame wash over him as he remembered his behavior over the last two days. Abby had certainly gone through more to get the boy here than he had, and she was able to love the baby so completely, without any reservations. Even as sick as she still was her first thoughts were again for her child. Ben was starting to absolutely hate that he had ever felt any differently than Abby did.

Few words were spoken after that. The Mavericks were content to marvel at their son, and they did just that until it became obvious Abby was struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Go back to sleep," Ben said as he nestled the baby back against his chest. "You need to rest."

"Don't take him."

Ben leaned down and brushed her hair back before gently kissing her forehead. "Don't worry. We'll be here when you wake up."

A ghost of a smile came to Abby's face before she drifted off to sleep again.

Ben sat by his wife, holding his son until early evening when Belle came back in, Doc following her.

"I hear there was an improvement today," the doctor said with a smile.

"Yes, sir. A big one."

"Glad to hear it." Doc nodded towards the door. "Go on now. And leave him with us; I want to see how he's doing too."

Ben stopped short. "Is there something wrong with him?"

Doctor Jennings looked over, clearly surprised by the alarm in Ben's voice. "No, I've been lookin' at him every day. Just a precaution since she did have such a hard time with him."

Ben couldn't help but feel a little foolish as he handed his son to Belle. He supposed that was something he should have known, something he probably would have known if he hadn't been half crazy with worry the last few days.

He went downstairs to wait and surprisingly, less than thirty minutes later Doc was back downstairs, still smiling.

"Well?" Ben asked.

"Ben, I feel quite confident she's gonna be fine."

The weight that had been hanging on Ben finally fell free. "She's gonna be okay?"

"I believe so. The fever's still there, but its low. It should fade completely in another day or two. Of course she's still very weak, and she'll need bed rest for a while yet, but I imagine you'll start to see a pretty rapid improvement from here on out."

Doc had a few more instructions and quickly gave them before he left. "I'll be cutting down on my visits now so I'll plan to see y'all tomorrow night unless I hear otherwise."

Ben smiled, truly thankful to hear those words. "I hope you won't hear from us."

"So do I. Now run along and see your family."

Ben's smile grew. For once he was more than happy to do what a doctor told him to. "Yes, sir."

XXXXXXX

Three days later Ben left Belle in charge of his wife and son and rode out to his brother's place. Abby was improving by the day but it would still be some time before she was back on her feet. Belle had offered to stay and help with things until then and Ben and Abby had only been too happy to accept. Beau was also remaining with them, but the older brother was currently at his own place attending to anything that needed doing. Reportedly, he'd been doing this all along, but for the life of him Ben didn't remember hearing about it until a couple of days ago. In his defense, however, he had been a little out of sorts the last couple of weeks.

Arriving at the house, Ben secured his horse and headed for the barn, guessing that would be Beauregard's location. He was correct and found his brother seeing to the few animals he kept on his small ranch.

"Everything still alive?" Ben asked.

Beau looked up and smiled. "What are you doin' out here? "

"I'd like to talk to you for a minute if you got the time."

"Yeah, I'm almost done. Still doesn't answer why you're out here, though. I would've been back soon."

"Just felt like gettin' out for a while."

"I understand that. How's Abby doin' this mornin'?" Beau had gone into town last night for the first time in nearly a week and hadn't been back to the house yet.

"She's good. So long as nothin' happens I should be able to join in another day or two."

"Good." Beau put the buckets he was carrying back up. "You want some coffee? I can go in and fix some."

"If you don't want to I can wait till we get back to the house."

Beau grinned. "Why would you want to wait that long?"

Ben chuckled. "Lead the way."

Beau went to the house to put coffee on and Ben settled into one of the rocking chairs on the porch. A few minutes later Beau was back and handed Ben a cup. "So what's on your mind?"

"A lot." Ben paused. "Abby got to hold the baby this morning. "It's the first time shes' got to really."

Beau nodded. "Good. A mama should get to hold her baby."

Silence again took hold of the porch until Ben finally sighed. "Look, I know what I was thinkin' about doin' was really dumb. It was just . . . I couldn't begin to imagine what I'd do without her. I don't know anything about babies, and quite frankly he was terrifying enough before he was born. I know it's not really an excuse, but the thought of tryin' to raise him on my own, alone . . . ."

"You wouldn't have been alone. Me and Belle's here."

"It's not really the same thing."

"I know. I also knew you weren't thinkin' clear, despite what you may claim to the contrary."

"No, I wasn't; I know that now. So, thanks for pushing me through it, hangover and all."

Beau shrugged. "I know you, little brother; knew you wouldn't be able to leave if you just stopped and thought about it for a while. Just like I knew you'd come to regret it if I did let you go. Remember, it wasn't too long ago I saw mine for the first time. It changes a man."

"It does," Ben said softly. He blew out a breath. "That's what I wanted to talk about; the baby."

"What about him?"

"Me and Abby talked about his name some."

"Good. Bout time you gave him a proper one. Folks need somethin' to call him."

"They'll have somethin' soon. A couple of days ago I thought of somethin' but I wanted Abby to approve before I said anything."

"Women like to have a say," Beau agreed. "What is it?"

Ben smiled. "Beauregard."

There was a long pause in which Beau simply stared at his brother. "You – you want to name the boy Beauregard?"

Ben's smile grew. Beau was trying to sound nonchalant but Ben knew his brother; at this moment Beau was about to explode with pride. "Yeah, we do. I've told Abby about what's been goin' on the last few days. Lord only knows where we'd be without you and Belle, and we can't very well call him Isabelle."

"Beauregard?"

"Yeah."

Again Beauregard was quiet for a moment, then he finally cleared his throat. "Beauregard's a good, solid name."

"We think so."

"So is Bentley."

"Yeah, but Beauregard's done more for him than Bentley has; a lot more. We think it'd be a good fit, if you don't mind sharin'."

A small smile came to Beau's face before he quickly wiped it off. "No, I don't mind."

XXXXXXX

After returning to the house, Ben spent most of the day with Abby, and the newly named Beauregard. They hadn't settled on a middle name yet, but Beauregard was fine for now. Neither he nor Abby had been sure the baby would actually be called Beauregard when they had discussed it, but now that had been agreed upon by all parties, Ben couldn't imagine using any other name for the boy. He only hoped there wouldn't be too much confusion in the coming days with both his son and his brother being a Beauregard.

Abby had improved vastly over the last few days, and was eager to spend as much time with her son as she could. She was still confined to bed under doctor's orders and still spent much of the day resting, but when she was awake she was so much like the woman Ben had first fallen in love with. Ben was amazed by the change that had come over his little family these last few days, and he greatly enjoyed the time the three of them had together.

Sometime in the late afternoon Abby laid back down for another nap and Ben wandered downstairs with little Beau. Wrapping Beau up in one of the blankets Abby had made for him, Ben took him outside and spent some time walking around the place, talking to his son. He knew Beau couldn't understand what was being said to him, and it would still be some time before he was old enough to really enjoy anything about the ranch, but Ben felt a sense of ease just walking around and talking anyway. They finished up their tour over by the corral were his and Beauregard's horses currently were.

"That's daddy's horse," Ben said pointing to the sorrel with the blaze. "And that's your uncle Beauregard's. When you get old enough I'll teach you how to ride and get you a horse of your own. Then you and your cousin Bret can ride all over this place and find all kinds of mischief."

Ben smiled as he thought about his son and his nephew growing up together. He wondered if the boys would be anything like he and Beauregard had been. For Belle and Abby's sake he should probably hope not, but the boys were Mavericks. There was bound to be some similarities. Ben chuckled. However the boys turned out, there was little doubt the coming years would be an adventure.

A gust of wind blew by just then and Ben shivered slightly. The temperature was dropping now that the sun was going down and Ben decided he needed to get his boy back inside. Wrapping the blanket covering his son a little tighter, Ben walked back to the house. As soon as he stepped through the door Ben felt a deep sense of satisfaction come over him. Walking into his house while holding his son filled him with more contentment than he'd ever imagined it would. He remembered his brother's words from when he and Abby had first come to Little Bend. Just like his brother, Ben had spent a lot of years running from this very thing, marriage and family, but now that he'd had a taste of it, he couldn't imagine life without it.

He was unwrapping Beau from his cocoon when he heard someone, presumably Belle given the hour, in the kitchen. He suddenly felt like he owed his sister-in-law an explanation to everything and started that way. Beauregard had been such a constant presence over the past week, that he sometimes forgot just how much Belle had done since Beau's birth too. Maybe she hadn't been the one to yell at him, con him, or get him drunk if need be, but in her own way she had helped just as much, maybe even more.

Entering the kitchen he found his sister-in-law working on supper while his nephew played on a quilt laid out on the floor. "Busy?" he asked.

Belle looked up and smiled. "Not at all."

Ben was taken aback by the response. He'd been joking, but her response had sounded completely serious."You look busy."

"I'm just cooking; I do it every day."

He nodded toward Bret. "And watchin' a baby."

"I do that every day too. You learn how to do both." She indicated Beau with a nod of her own. "Just like you're learning how to do that, and it appears you're learning quite quickly."

"It's startin' to feel more natural."

"I know. So what can I help you with this evening?" She smiled at the bemused expression that came to Ben's face. "It's obvious there's something on your mind, and if you're here it must not be something you think Beauregard can help with."

Ben smiled ruefully. It was easy to see what had attracted his brother to this woman. "It's not really help I just . . . I think I own you an explanation, at the very least an apology."

Belle became more serious and her eyes softened with sympathy. "No, you don't."

Ben shook his head. "I know what you must have thought, and I can't say I blame you."

"At first, but Beau . . . explained some things."

"I don't know if that's helpful or not."

Belle laughed as she sat down. "It was rather blunt, and he did lace it with some unflattering names, but he did his best. I think I have the idea anyway."

Ben looked down at his son. "I guess you know we didn't do things in the same order most people do. I mean with him and the wedding and everything."

"I did suspect it."

Ben sighed. "I've never been so scared in my life, Belle, and that was with her right by me. When it looked like she might not be here . . . ."

Belle reached across the table and took his free hand. "I understand. You'd also had very little sleep and very little food." She gave him a reproachful look then, clearly meant to relay she had done her best to prevent those two things from happening.

Ben nodded meekly. "Yes, ma'am, and I take all the blame for that."

"I can't say I understand all your reasoning, probably because I'm a woman, but I understand enough. I wouldn't want to try and raise Bret without Beauregard either. You are here now, though, and obviously quite smitten with him, and so is Abby. All in all, I think Beauregard is a very lucky boy."

"He told you about that, huh?"

Belle sort of rolled her eyes as she stood back up. "Goodness, Ben, you should know your brother well enough to know he couldn't keep something like that to himself for long. The only other time I've seen him that proud was when Bret was born."

Ben looked to the boy on the floor who by the look of things was going to be crawling around the house soon. Probably much sooner than his parents were ready for. "He told me when we first got here there was nothing like being a father. I couldn't believe him then, but I understand now. You know, right after Abby told me she was expecting Beau, I couldn't fathom having a child. I kept walkin' around wantin' to ask everyone I saw if I really looked like a daddy."

"Yes."

Ben turned back to Belle. "What?"

Belle put her hands on her hips and tilted her head a little, looking at the man sitting in front of her, one baby in his arms and another one on the floor just a few feet from him. She smiled at him. "I said, yes. From where I'm standing, Ben Maverick, yes, you look exactly like a daddy."


	19. Epilogue

"The most important thing to remember is you never hold a kicker, and you never draw to an inside straight. At least, that's what your Uncle Beauregard says. Personally, I think there is something to be said for reckless abandon. Sometimes you gotta take a chance with those inside straights."

Ben had volunteered to put his son to bed half an hour ago, but somehow once he'd gotten Beau upstairs, all thoughts of bed were gone and Ben had ended up explaining some of the finer points of poker to Beau. Ben had thought his brother was crazy the first time he'd seen Beauregard do something similar with Bret, but he'd soon discovered there was a lot of satisfaction in explaining the family business to his son. Granted, he was sure Beau didn't understand a word of what he was saying, but the boy would gleefully watch the cards as Ben worked with them.

"I'm sure you already know Beauregard can be a bit dramatic at times."

Beau babbled something unintelligible making his father laugh. Ben would swear that sometimes Beau was responding to him even if he wasn't quite talking yet. Words were only a matter of time, though. Beau's first birthday was rapidly approaching and lately his babbling had become more frequent and persistent.

While Ben was looking forward to the day he could talk to Beau and have him really answer back, it hardly seemed possible Beau was almost a year old. Sometimes he found himself wondering where the last two years had gone. It was as if he been in a hotel room one day hearing he was going to be a father, then he had blinked and suddenly his boy was about to celebrate his first birthday. Two years may have gone by fast, but a lot had changed during that time; he had changed. Frankly, the man who had seriously contemplated leaving Hattiesburg after letting Abby walk out of that hotel room nearly two years before had been a selfish jerk. Looking back on that time now, he wouldn't change a thing if he could.

Ben ran his hand over Beau's blond hair and smiled. "I should probably start watching what I say around you. You'll be big enough to repeat it all soon."

More babbles came from Beau before he cackled.

"Bentley Maverick."

Ben turned to see Abigail standing in the doorway, a reproachful look on her face.

"You were supposed to be putting him to bed. He looks more awake than ever now."

He offered a sheepish smile. "We were just talkin'."

"And playing cards?" She sighed. "Belle was right; the two of you really can't help it, can you?"

Abby was trying to be stern but Ben could tell she was fighting back a smile. He knew both his wife and his sister-in-law held some reservations about his and Beauregard's intentions to teach the boys poker. He also knew they had both accepted there wasn't much they could do about it. He shrugged. "He enjoys it. It's like a bedtime story."

"Your bedtime stories wake him up instead of putting him to sleep, and he may be the only person you play with tonight if you don't get him to sleep. You said you'd put him to bed and you're going to. You're not leaving with Beauregard while he's still awake."

"Yes, ma'am."

Abby smiled sweetly before going back downstairs.

Ben looked back at his son. "All right, boy. No more cards tonight." He started to gather the loose cards. "Daddy's gonna be in trouble if you don't go to sleep."

"Da."

Ben's movements with the cards ceased abruptly. He looked down at the boy on his lap who was gazing at him with wide eyes. "What did you say?"

Not surprisingly, Beau said nothing but babbled some more nonsense.

Ben stared at his son wondering if he'd heard anything at all. Maybe he'd been thinking about it too much tonight. Perhaps the word Ben thought he'd heard was nothing more than all the other attempts at words Beau had been trying to put together the last several weeks.

Abandoning the cards, Ben lifted Beau so their eyes were level. "Beau, who am I? Can you say Daddy?"

Beau cackled.

"Daddy. Can you say that? Daddy."

"Da."

Ben was certain he'd heard that correctly. He grinned. "You're amazin', son."

"Da."

Grinning from ear to ear, Ben jumped up. "Abby," he called. "Abigail."

Seconds later he heard Abby's feet running up the stairs. "What's wrong?" she cried rushing into Beau's room.

"He said daddy."

"What?"

"He just said daddy."

Abby took Beau from him. "Will you say it for Mama?" She pointed to Ben. "Who is that?"

"Da."

Abby kissed Beau's cheek. "Oh, my sweet boy. You're so smart." Beau squealed. "And so wide awake," she added rolling her eyes.

"You think my reaction got him a little wound up?" Ben asked doing his best to give Abby an innocent smile.

"A little."

Ben grinned. "But he did say daddy."

Abby smiled and kissed Beau again. "Yes, he did."

Beau reached for Ben. "Da."

Abby smiled as she passed him over. "I was going to offer to put him down for you, but it seems he's smart enough to know what he wants."

"You're gonna have to help me out a little, son," Ben said accepting his son. "Your Uncle Beau's gonna be here soon and Mama said I can't leave until you're asleep." As much as Ben wanted to sound disgruntled, he found it hard to do with Beau's head on his shoulder.

"I suggest you stop talking and playing cards then," Abby said with a laugh. "And I'll leave you alone too." She kissed both of them and left the room.

Once they were alone Ben looked back to Beau. "You heard the lady of the house, son. No more talkin'."

Turning down the lamp, Ben sat in the rocking chair quietly shushing Beau every time the babbling started up. It took a few minutes but soon Beau was still and quiet. After that it didn't take long for him to drift off.

Ben slowly stood and placed Beau in his bed. He stood over his son a minute once again struck by how his life had changed, and how much the changes he was sure would ruin his life had actually made it immeasurably better. "Good night, son. I'll see you tomorrow."

He left the room shutting the door behind him and was surprised to find Abby in the hall. "So you didn't abandon me."

Abby didn't answer; she merely looked at him.

"What?"

She smiled. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not today."

Abby wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on his chest. "I love you."

Ben was about to respond when Abby suddenly giggled.

"Is that amusing?" he asked.

"Daddy," she said lifting her head and looking at him. "I like the way that sounds. I like the way it sounds when Beau says it."

"So do I."

"I was thinking about us earlier; how we started. Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

Abby leaned back into him. "There was a time I wasn't sure we'd ever be here. When I went to your room that day, I didn't think you'd care at all."

"And I proved you right." There was still a small amount of self-loathing that went along with that statement.

"For a while, but when you came to my room and asked me to marry you . . . ." Abby trailed off. "Oh, I love you, Ben."

Ben kissed her head. "I love you too. It took us a while to get here, and it's hasn't been the easiest ride, but we're here."

She looked up again. "Yes, we are." She stepped away. "You should finish getting dressed. Your brother will be here soon."

"I can stay."

Abby laughed. "Go on. I'll see you in the morning . . . daddy."

A word that had made him cringe two years ago was now a word he couldn't hear enough. Before going downstairs, he gave Abby a grin. "I really do like the sound of that."


End file.
